#maybe because Eiji WASN'T REALLY THERE

[sastheforestspirit]

It's official

I reached level with 10th medal ress that even after all those months even seeing prnt screens from it make my stomach upset. I was just googling Date for a meme, found his picture from this movie and I felt my stomach twisting

[ratcash-wasgud]

・❥・Loser!Mizu Headcanons・❥・

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Firstly, I'd like to apologize for how deranged this came out towards the end, so mdni pls pls. Secondly this is a Loser!Mizu x Rebel!Reader typa shit, so it will get specific at times. My requests are open, btw.

Okay, enjoy ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

I stand by the fact that Mizu would be a huge loser. Like girlie grew up not really interacting with anyone but her mother and Eiji and doesn't really like meeting new people (Ringo for example)

She'd get shy, and you can't change my mind. She'd blush a lot, especially on her nose. Blud turns into Rudolf the moment she's embarassed.

She'd be the type to dress like literal Adam Sandler, then try to casually pull her shirt's sleeve up to flex her muscles.

She'd say shit like "Oh, these? I dunno, they just...spawned here." All while knowing damn well she spends half of her life at the gym.

She'd still wear shades all the fucking time, but not to hide her eyecolor, but because she thinks it's cool, and because she mained Johnny Cage in mortal kombat.

She'd listen to corny ass music like Joji, Hozier, maybe Mitski or even The Front Bottoms and bop her head agressively. Then she'd deny the whole thing and say that she was listening to Playboy Carti or Drake.

She'd be in the basketball team, but would be horrible at teamwork. She wouldn't pass, she'd just go for it everytime. She'd miss 20% of the time, and then yell something like "It wasn't my fault, this bitch was breathing down my neck!" or just groan loudly out of annoyance.

She'd be very drawn to water. She'd visit the beach very frequently, but the local aquarium even more often.

Mizu was standing before a smaller aquarium, looking at the spotted, green fishes' quickly pacing around between the glass walls. She came here right after basketball practice, so she was quite sweaty, and tired but being here, for some reason, always charged her energy. Her hair was in it's usual bun, but her shades were now closed, and were hanging from the neck of her shirt. Her eyes were shining in the dim blue lighting as she slowly placed her fingers on the glass. Suddenly, she almost jumbed backwards when she finally realized someone was standing next to her. She turned her head to the side and saw you. It was fucking you. It could've been anyone else, but no. You.

You and Mizu had a couple classes together, and you were one of the most prettiest girls Mizu has ever seen. She saw you on campus a lot, smoking in the parking lot, yelling at one of the fratboys because he parked his dumb car in a way that your motorbike would get stuck next to it, or literally running from one of the professors. She never talked to you though. She never had the opportunity, or at least that's what she told herself. In reality, she was just a coward.

Bit still, she would be lying if she said your face hadn't popped up a couple times when she touched herself. There was just something about you that always caught her attention. You didn't know her, but she felt like she knew you. Everytime she had a basketball game, she looked for you in the crowd. You were rarely there, and even if you were, you'd leave halfway after throwing food at someone. Still, she'd do her best, trying to impress you, knowing damn well you won't give a shit.

"What?" You laugh right in her face. "Scared you? Or did the Discus' mesmerized you so much you forgot you were in public?" You say, turning your gaze to the fishes.

"E...excuse me?" Mizu manages to croak out, her eyes widening. Why are you talking to her like you two have been friends for years? It's not like she minds, but it sends her anxieaty flying. It's her first time actually talking to you, of course she's nervous. She has rehearsed this a couple times in her head, planning to quickly guide the conversation towards how good she'd be at beating people up, (because she knows how much you do that) but now that it's actually happening she's pissing her pants.

"The Discus. Rot Turkish Discus, to be specific. The fish you were drooling at." You press a finger against the glass. "Pretty cool ones, I'll give you that. They can change the pigment in their body if they're stressed or sick." You say, casually dropping a "by the way did you know" kind of fact. One she didn't know.

"Oh." Mizu looks back to the fishes, but actually she's just looking at your reflection in the glass. "You like fishes?" Great. Stupid ass question.

"Yeah, kinda." You shrug. "They're interesting, but I'm here because they have bugs on the second floor." You point up with a small, lazy grin. Mizu remembers that, but never went up there. Bugs were never really interesting to her, but...maybe today she will. She mentaly notes that you like bugs.

"Hm." Mizu hums back. "If you think about it," She starts, glancing at you to check if you're still paying attention. "Fish are kinda like...water bugs." She says, and even shrugs for good measure. She needs to look like she doesn't give a shit.

You let out a laugh. "What a genius." You roll your eyes. "There are actual water bugs though, but I'm willing to overlook that." You say, then walk past her to look at the next aquarium, and Mizu just follows you withouth even thinking about it. "Cichlid." You say, pointing at one of the pinkish fishes. Mizu realizes how little she actually knows about fishes eventhough she comes to this aquarium a lot. She just likes watching them. "A very pretty one at that too. Jewel Cichlid if I'm correct." You say, almost as if thinking out loud.

It's as if Mizu became mesmerized. She walked along you trhough the whole aquarium, then followed you upstairs to the bugs. She listened you naming all of them, then telling her fun facts like 'An ant-eating assassin bug piles its victims onto its body to scare predators' and 'Ticks can grow from the size of a grain of rice to the size of a marble'. You were someone who'd always caused trouble in school, saying it's all bullshit and how fucked the system is, but you were actually very educated. On animals, that is.

She never really cared about people being smart or not, but right now it was the most attractive thing ever.

And with that, you unintentionally ruined her life. She was fine-ish with having this little hallway-crush on you, but now that she actually interacted with you for two full hours, she's fully in love.

And somehow that makes her frustrated.

She'd walk with Ringo on campus, listening to him ramble about this new dish he cooked and how she should totally come over and rate it when you suddenly dash by her, probably escaping from some football player you made mad again. Mizu would freeze, then mutter "why the fuck is she so cool?!" under her breath and lightly punch Ringo on the shoulder.

You're so hot it makes her mad.

You two didn't really talk after that though, just casual greetings in the hallway, and sometimes sitting at the same table in the cafeteria, but that was it. Still, it was more that nothing.

One time you started a fight with one guy outside of the parking lot because "he dick rode a teacher while the teacher was making bitchass bigot jokes".

You left the guy with a broken nose, and would've made it a broken jaw too if someone wouldn't have stopped you.

Akemi recorded the whole thing, and Mizu needed to discreetly beg her to send it to her.

She couldn't help it. Seeing your sweaty form, your face scrunched up in anger, your knuckles blood stained...it wasn't enough to see it just once. She had to watch the video on loop.

She'd wonder if you'd make a similar face in bed too. She'd wonder if you're a top or bottom.

She'd wonder if you're even into girls at all. It seemed too good to be true though.

Still, watching that video over and over again made her mind wander.

"Fuck..." Mizu mumbles out as her fingers finally reach her folds under her boxers. With her phone in hand, the video of you beating the shit out of some guy playing, your huffs and groans on full volume in her headphones. She closes her eyes, and imagines you kneeling between her legs.

She had a long day. She argued with Taigen, listened to Akemi whine about this guy, Takayoshi, then Ringo kept talking about this boring ass anime he watched about a broke God, or whatever...plus, she didn't see you once today. She couldn't catch a whiff of your smell as you walked by, or she didn't hear your sharp and raspy chuckle, or saw your smug grin. Torture at it's finest.

Is she proud of it? Nah. It's embarassing as hell to masturbate to your crush who probably forgot you even existed, but hey, a girl has to blow of steam somehow, right? And you just couldn't leave her head. It gotten to the point where she can't even watch porn, unless one of the actresses look like you, which is...rare. You're too good looking to be compared to sluts like that.

She imagines that it's your hand that is slowly circling around her clit as you whisper in her ear. Things like "You're so warm...I can't wait to taste you" or "You want this as much as me, don't you? Mizu..." and it gets her to buck against her fingers.

She licks her lips as she imagines your pussy hovering over her mouth while you slowly finger her. She imagines your taste, and how'd you drip on her face before you allow her to dive in.

She'd eat. Oh, she'd devour.

She saw your ass in jeans before, and it made her clit throb in public, so she just knows it's perfect when it's bare. She quietly moans your name as her fingers work deeper, placing the phone down to only listen to the audio, her other (now free) hand moving up to tease her hard nipples through her shirt.

She slowly pumps her long fingers inside herself, her back arching on the bed. She whispers your name as she imagines you slowly lowering yourself on the strapon she has inside her drawer.

She doesn't know why she has that toy though. She has only ever been with one person, and that was a guy. It happened years ago, back when she was still in denial about her gayness, and when she was still living with her homophobic mom. But after she first masturbated to the tought of you, she impulsively bought the light teal strap on dildo, just in case you ever somehow ended up in bed. She'd fuck you just the way she imagines it right now (lies, btw, she'd freak out and cum after two seconds). But still, there's no harm in having dreams.

She'd watch your tits bounce as you ride her, her hands firmly grabbing your ass. You'd moan her name, hair falling in your face as you lose yourself in pleasure. "Fuck...so fucking pretty...loving my cock, aren't you?" Mizu coos into the air, her thumb circling her clit as her fingers move faster inside her, agressively curling into her g spot. "Yes...Mizu, it feels good..." You'd moan back as you throw your head back when she starts thrusting her hips upwards, fucking you from under, leaving you no choice but to lean on her for support, pushing your beautiful plump boobs so damn close to her lips.

She'd suck on your nipples until they're red and puffy while she brings you to your climax. You'd love her cock, she's sure. She got the one that was the same teal that was also the color of one of your bracelets. Small, almost stalker-sih detail? Yeah, but she imagines you'd be impressed.

Afterwards, she'd lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, post nut clarity hitting her hard. And the next day, she wouldn't even be able to look at you, withouth getting embarassed...and horny. Oh only if you could hold her for real.

[turnupswritessometimes]

Bring it on Home to Me - Ash/Eiji Oneshot

A thanks to @holographiccs (who I bullied into reading Banana Fish) for imitating Ash's gang and their New York accents with me and inspiring this fic! <3

A03 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59433925

Summary:

Eiji heard Bones say it when he was posted outside their apartment. A friend of his had stopped by and asked both him and Kong out for a good time. Loudly. Loud enough for Eiji to hear in the kitchen. "Can't. We're guarding the boss' girlfriend." * Eiji finds out he's known as the boss' girlfriend - and he doesn't hate it. Ash should hate it - but he doesn't, either.

Word Count: 4,156

Bring it on Home to me

Eiji heard Bones say it when he was posted outside their apartment. A friend of his had stopped by and asked both him and Kong out for a good time. Loudly. Loud enough for Eiji to hear in the kitchen.

"Can't. We're guarding the boss' girlfriend."

Eiji’s stomach twisted. He stopped chopping vegetables - realised he was cooking Ash's dinner, like a girlfriend, and his stomach squirmed again – and looked to the door. It was closed; they probably didn't even know he'd heard.

What else had they heard? Had they heard him and Ash? Was that what they really thought about them? It wasn't not true, but it wasn’t true, either. He didn’t know what this thing was between him and Ash. He was already too soft for Ash's world, that had been made clear. The implication that he was his girlfriend didn’t sit right with him.

It hadn't been said with any judgement – not like they hated or looked down on him for it – just as a matter of fact. Not even, Eiji thought, as some kind of joke. He thought that was worse. Definitely worse.

He didn't feel like cooking up a nice, homemade meal anymore. He scooped the chopped vegetables into a bowl, and put them back in the fridge. They'd have a couple of TV dinners, or takeout, instead.

Bones came in, not long later, to catch his show on the ridiculously large TV Ash had brought. He always did, even though they were both meant to stay outside. It was their secret, between Eiji and Bones.

"You ain’t making dinner?" Bones asked, as he clambered over the back of the sofa to collapse into a heap on the too-firm cushions.

"Not tonight," Eiji replied. He picked up the book on the side, as though he'd been reading instead, but Bones wasn't even looking. He was already helping himself to the remote, and flicking through the channels.

Eiji watched him, for a moment. He thumbed through the pages of the book. His voice came out much smaller than he wanted it to: "The boss'...girlfriend?"

"Huh?" Bones craned his neck to look at him. "You heard that?"

Bones' voice carried; Eiji heard most things he said, though it was mostly him and Kong chatting about nothing. "It's just – I'm not – it's not—"

"It ain't about girls or boys," Bones said. "A girlfriend's the one who keeps house for you. Who you come back to after trouble."

Eiji still didn't think that was the right word. But maybe this was some new American slang he didn't understand. "Oh."

"It's a good thing." Bones smiled, showing his sharp canines. "And being Ash's girlfriend? Gives you a hell of a reputation."

Because Ash had a hell of a reputation. Because Ash was a gang leader, and he had the respect of most other gangs around New York. Did they all know him as that? As the Lynx's girlfriend?

"I'm not Ash's," Eiji said, because his stomach hadn't just squirmed, it had somersaulted, at that thought. He did not want to be just the Lynx’s property.

Bones tilted his head to one side, frowning. "That ain’t bad, either. I'm Ash's. Kong's Ash's. We're all Ash's."

It was as simple as that to him. He followed Ash, so he was Ash's. And Eiji supposed he could try and deny it, but he did the same thing. Stubbornly stuck at Ash's side until he'd stopped telling Eiji to go back to Japan. Didn’t have any plans to leave him, any time soon.

He was Ash's, he realised, through and through.

"Right." His voice was distant, but he didn't think Bones heard anyway; his show had started and that always hypnotised him. Eiji took his book to his bedroom, heart thumping. It was something, he realised, that he'd known for a while. He'd known it, but he'd only just realised it, and it felt overwhelming. Just how much he was Ash’s.

He sat on the end of the bed, and wondered what Ash was doing right now. Gang business. Dangerous business. And Eiji was the one he came home to – who he’d chosen to come home to. They didn’t have to live together, alone, here, but Ash had chosen that, and Eiji hadn’t argued. This was Ash’s safehouse, and that Eiji's job was to be there, when he came home.

His mind didn't settle to read. He flicked on the radio, and shifted restlessly, waiting. Thinking about fights and guns and gangs and realising he didn’t know much about how it worked at all.

Ash called from a payphone, to say he was on his way back. Eiji called for takeout. It arrived minutes before Ash himself, and he had to sacrifice a handful of fries to Bones and Kong when they saw the delivery boy. They clapped Eiji on the back as they said goodbye, then stopped to debrief with Ash in the hall. Eiji couldn't keep up with their conversation; their words were too fast, and their accents too heavy. He leant against the doorframe, and watched Ash's expression; that tense, serious expression he had around the gang. His eyes glinted green, his jaw set.

It relaxed, when he met Eiji at the door. Softened. His hands found Eiji's hips, and he brought him close for a hug. Eiji's arms went around his neck automatically and he pressed closer. Smelt of sweat, cigarettes and smoke. It was unpleasant, but it was Ash's.

He pulled away, ghosting his lips over Eiji's cheek. "Honey, I'm home."

It was a joke. It had started as a joke and because of Ash kissing him in jail. He still teased that they were together, like that. Every time it made Eiji duck his chin, and laugh, cheeks warming. Americans were too free with being intimate.

Ash was too free with being intimate.

He stepped away, not seeming to realise Eiji hadn't responded, and saw the paper bags sat on the table.

Eiji leant his back against the door to close it. "Sorry, I—"

"It's alright." Ash looked back at him. He raised an eyebrow, smirking. "I'm not going to beat you with my belt for not having a roast on the table after my day at the office."

It was another joke, but Eiji didn't laugh. He could see why the boys thought what they did. Ash noticed. Tilted his head to one side; his hair fell with the movement, gold in the artificial light. "Seriously, don't worry."

Eiji bit his lip. He wondered how to tell Ash about what Bones had said – wondered if Ash knew – if Ash called him that, himself. Wondered if he’d see it as another joke, and Eiji didn't know if he wanted it to be. Didn't know how he could even word it.

Ash stepped forward, again. His hand grazed Eiji's arm; brushed his hair behind his ear. It was genuine, and he looked up.

"What's up?"

Eiji tangled his fingers in Ash's. Took a deep breath. "The boss' girlfriend."

Ash frowned. "Huh?"

Eiji looked at their joint fingers. Ash's looked like the colour of ivory, against his. How was it that this boy could spend a summer outside in New York, and not tan at all?

"That's what they call me," he said. "The boss' girlfriend."

"Ah." Ash paused, for half a second. "Right."

"I don't hate it," Eiji continued. His voice came out much smaller than before. "At least, I don't think I do. It's – the food will go cold."

Ash let him get away with that. "Right."

But he didn't drop his hand, as he crossed to the table. Not until Eiji had to step around to the other side, and he absolutely had to. His fingers fell away, slowly. Then he was pouncing on the bags and pulling out the burgers and fries, smiling like a child.

"No weird Japanese dish tonight?"

"Sometimes I think you really are just an uncultured American," Eiji replied, and for a moment, it was just like normal. He unpacked his food. Caught Ash glancing up, smiling at him. A soft smile that made his heart squeeze.

But Ash saw through him. "This is because of what Bones said."

Eiji nodded. He helped himself to fries, chewing slowly. Ash ate like he hadn't in a week; like he was barely tasting any of it. Eiji picked at his own food, steadily.

When Ash finally came up for air, he said, "It’s not your cooking. Just – this food is predictable, you know?"

"Predictable?"

"You know exactly how it's going to taste, because it's come out the machine that way."

"I don't think it's all made by machines."

"It's – safe." Ash met Eiji's eyes, his were shards of emerald, then away again. Back to his food. But there had been something in that gaze; something vulnerable. It was the same kind of vulnerable he'd seen at Cape Cod; that glimpse of Aslan Jade.

It felt like a peace offering. Ash had offered up that, about himself, because Eiji had mentioned the girlfriend thing. Probably looked vulnerable too.

Ash was weird about food. He'd noticed that. Noticed that sometimes he ‘d eat like he hadn’t in a week, or didn't eat at all, or would only pick at his food. That the other boys would eat three or four hot dogs back to back, and Ash would find a subtle way to toss the rest of his out. Eiji didn't press about it. He’d do his best to push Ash towards eating more healthily.

He continued steadily through his own meal. For once, Ash finished long before him.

"I'll tell them to knock it off," Ash said. "I've half a mind to bash them."

"You...didn't say that, then?"

That there was this thing between them. The same thing as in jail; in that road trip across America; in Ash lying in his lap in the middle of the night. They were joint by this thing. They weren’t just friends; they were something more.

"No, I didn't." Ash's mouth twisted. "They're idiots."

"They aren't," though Eiji's protest was half-hearted.

Ash raised an eyebrow, unbelieving, and Eiji had to look away, biting his cheek in case he started laughing. He liked Bones and Kong, but he understood why they were often stationed outside his safe apartment building, where nothing happened, as opposed to the real work Ash had done today.

The work Ash had done today. The work that left him smelling like gunpowder. When Ash was like this, domestic and teasing, it was hard to equate him with the feared gang leader – whose reputation Eiji had by association.

He gathered the trash from their meals together, and threw them away. At least he didn't have to wash up tonight – and that was another part of playing house, wasn't it?

When he looked back, he saw Ash examining the back of his hand. Even from where Eiji stood, he could see the knuckles were red, starting to turn purple and blue.

"You've been fighting," Eiji said, automatically getting the first aid kit from under the sink. It was replenished nearly weekly.

"It’s nothing," Ash replied. He left his chair untucked, and flopped onto the sofa. He went over the arm, lying lengthways, and Eiji wondered if any of these boys were capable of sitting normally.

He crossed over, with a bag of peas. How many times, he wondered, could you refreeze peas before they were no longer safe to eat?

Eiji tossed them to Ash. He caught them without looking, and pressed them against his hand. Eiji perched on the arm of the sofa. Ash's hair flopped over his face, but he saw him wince at the ice.

"Bones..." Eiji swallowed. "Bones didn't make it sound like a bad thing."

Ash didn't answer, immediately. "That right?"

"He said – a girlfriend – is who you come home to, after a long day at war," Eiji said.

Ash smiled. A slow, unconscious smile that sent a rush of warmth through him. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Ash sat, properly, his back against the arm of the sofa, his knees drawn up. He nodded to the empty space. Eiji slipped onto it, aware of his elbow knocking against Ash's knee. The touch tingled.

"And Bones didn't say what you did after a long day at war?"

Eiji's cheeks felt hot, at the suggestion. "I don't think he knows about that kind of thing."

Which made Ash chuckle. His knee bumped Eiji again, and he but his lip. It felt mean to laugh at Bones, but it was easier than this thing, and he loved making Ash laugh like that. He chanced a glance at Ash from under his bangs, only to see him watching Eiji closely. It sent that wave of heat down his neck.

"And – do you?" Ash's voice was soft; soft enough Eiji suspected he could pretend not to have heard, if he wanted.

"I..." He traced the gain of the sofa with one finger. "I have an idea, or two."

"Yeah?” Ash sat up further, leaning forward. “Care to share?"

He'd turned to Ash, and he wasn't sure when he had. But now his face was only inches away.

"You mean – demonstrate?"

Ash smiled – smirked – and Eiji's stomach twisted. "Only if you want to."

Eiji wanted to. He wanted to, but then it wouldn’t be a joke, anymore. Things would change. Still, he didn’t wouldn’t back down. Ash had that effect on him; made him want to rise to the glint in his eye.

He leant forward – didn’t let himself hesitate – and pressed their lips together. He felt Ash’s part, like he was surprised Eiji actually did it, before he kissed back. He moved slowly, as if he was savouring it, one hand sliding into Eiji’s hair. The bag of frozen peas fell to the floor with a loud thump.

Eiji shifted, so he was securely between Ash’s legs, hands on his knees to steady himself, as he kissed him back. Only pulled away when he felt lightheaded, and not far enough to see Ash clearly.

“That okay?” Ash whispered.

“If that’s – if that’s okay with you?” Eiji replied.

Ash pulled away. Eiji let him, though he was still very aware of how close they were; how he was pressed between Ash’s legs. His lips tingling. Ash raised a hand, brushing Eiji’s bangs from his eyes. His fingers trailed over his cheekbone, green eyes examining him. Eiji stared back, heart pounding. There was everything, and nothing, to say. Ash made a noise, then stopped. Tucked Eiji’s hair behind his ear.

“I like coming home to you,” he murmured.

Eiji felt heat rush through him, like he’d just sunk into a warm bath. His hands had moved, he didn’t know when, to Ash’s shoulders. “I like you coming home.”

Because Ash had been fighting, and he may only have come home with bruised knuckles today, but he could easily come home much worse. Eiji kissed him again, pressing their foreheads together.

“Please come home, Ash.”

Ash took a breath that Eiji felt against him, pressing his hands against the small of his back. Pressed him closer, until they were inches apart. He nodded, his hair falling over his eyes. It hid his expression. He pressed his mouth against Eiji's cheek. Properly, this time, lashes brushing his skin.

Eiji held Ash back. Felt his spine, his shoulder blades, and Ash's mouth moved to his temple. Kissed there, too, and then tugged him down so he could rest his chin on Eiji's head. He let him, falling ungracefully against Ash's chest, their legs tangled on the sofa. It wasn’t quite big enough, for this. They were very close. Closer than ever before, and this time, it was serious.

He didn't want to pull away. Listened to the steady beat of Ash's heart under his ear. His fingers reached up to curl a blonde strand around his finger.

"I'll try my best," Ash murmured.

"I'll hold you to that." And he felt Ash's chuckle as a rumble. He shifted, to look at him, their faces so close that Ash's eyes were a sea of green. "I promise, Ash Lynx."

"Well—" Ash kissed him. Long, slow and savouring and Eiji felt as though he was melting. "Then I can't let you down."

His voice was soft, like a purr. He pressed kisses to the corner of Eiji's mouth, trailing down his jaw. Eiji twisted Ash's hair in his fingers. This was earnest – so earnest and reverent, that it made his chest ache.\

He kissed Ash back. Kissed his temple; his cheekbone; the hollow of his jaw, and felt Ash's breath catch under him. He drew him even tighter against him, so there wasn't even room for that. They lay on the sofa, hearts beating against each other.

His eyes half-closed, and he didn't mind the smell of sweat and gunpowder. It was Ash's smell. This felt right, Eiji thought. Thought perhaps he was Ash's boy, after all, because this felt like where he belonged.

*

"So, who started it?"

Ash leant against the bar, and did his best glower at Alex. Made sure to sweep said glower over the guys standing around, so they all knew he was bothered by something. Bones ducked behind Kong; maybe he guessed what was up. Eiji, though, was in the thick of it, being taught how to play pool.

Alex smiled, but he looked tense, too. "Started what?"

Ash tilted his head and raised his eyebrow. "Started calling Eiji the boss’ girlfriend?"

Alex's grin stiffened. He swigged from his beer bottle, either buying for time or building up his courage. Ash didn't relent his stare.

"Ain't it right?" Alex eventually asked.

Ash huffed, taking a drink himself. His was an excuse to look over at Eiji. He was concentrating hard, lining up a shot, his brows together. He was biting his lip, and it made Ash's stomach twinge. Adorable.

"I never said that," he said; it came out much too defensive.

Alex shifted. Glanced across at him, and Ash stayed scowling. It was half the job of being the boss – he had to be imposing – had to have his respect and reputation. That was how you survived in New York. That was what Ash loved about New York.

Alex leant across, looking straight ahead, probably watching Eiji too, as he said, "You didn't have to."

Ash's stomach twisted. He watched Eiji as he took the shot. A ball fell into the pocket. The boys cheered him like he'd won the game, clapping his shoulders. Eiji laughed, the low lighting casting a halo on his hair. He looked like he was glowing, from the inside out. Those dark eyes found Ash's.

He looked away. "That obvious, huh?"

Alex half-laughed, like he wasn't sure if he'd get hit, if he did. "Yeah, boss, that obvious."

That was bad. Ash finished the bottle, and lined it up on the bar alongside the others. Beer wasn't his drink of choice, but it was what they drunk here, so he did too. At least it filled him up.

"It ain't him," Alex continued. Conversationally. "It's you. The way you look at him."

"Well, shit," Ash said it on reflex, like he'd dropped a glass or missed a shot. Like it was an accident. It was an accident. Being around Eiji was making him soft. He knew that, knew it particularly when they were alone together, but he hadn't realised it seeped through to everywhere.

He glanced up just in time to meet Eiji's eyes again; stood at the side of the table, with his pool-cue held like a staff in front of him. He smiled.

"I gotta smoke," Ash said. Snapped. Headed through the back of the bar. Stalked through, so that Bones leapt back out of his way. The lynx on the warpath.

He tried not to think about how that would seem to Eiji; for him to storm away just after being smiled at. But he needed space. Needed air. Needed to slam the door to the tiny courtyard and fumble for a cigarette in his pocket. He lit it with fumbling fingers, and leant against the brick wall.

Said courtyard was a square of cobblestone, surrounded on all sides by tall buildings, a hodgepodge of brick and stone, fire escapes twisting around them like ivy. Just a patch of sky at the top, and the light pollution of the city meant no stars or moonlight got through. It cast everything yellow.

Ash took a deep drag, and let it out slowly. The smoke drifted into the night air in a gray ribbon. His muscles relaxed, his mind numbed.

Alex pushed open the door. He leant against the frame, and watched Ash. He didn't look away from the patch of night, but held out the cigarette pack. Alex took it, and pulled out his own. Handed it back, and kept his palm out for the lighter.

Ash didn’t give it to him. He stepped forward, holding the lighter up to where Alex held the cigarette between his teeth. It was a challenge; to see if you flinched, at the flame so close to your mouth. If you trusted the person with the lighter.

Alex didn't flinch. His blue eyes held Ash's. The blue of new jeans.

Ash leant back against the wall.

Alex blew out smoke. "You know we don't mind, yeah?"

"It's not you." Ash held the cigarette between his fingers, and focused on the warmth of it. "It's – if you can tell, anyone can."

"Not anyone." Alex leant next to him, just as he did at the bar. There was no shaking him, and Ash thought he loved him for that. "But we can. Because you're different with him. You didn't beat him to a pulp for waking you up – things like that. We knows you, is all."

"And other people know me." Ash tapped the end of his cigarette, sending a miniature meteor shower to the flagstones. "Golzine knows me."

So if Alex and the boys – if Bones – could tell, Dino Golzine definitely could. Every time Ash went out with Eiji, he was parading his Achilles heel. If he was Achilles, he thought, as he took another drag, Eiji was Patroclus.

There was that painting. Achilles Lamenting the Death of Patroclus. An image flashed in his mind of Eiji, that pale – that dead – and his chest ached.

Alex didn't press for those details; respected Ash's privacy when it came to his past with Golzine – even those visits before all this Banana Fish business that were much too recent for his liking. Just why had it taken him so long to get out of there – completely?

Ash's smoke blew out shakily.

"We'll protect him," Alex said. "We won't let anything happen to him."

It already had. Ash had been there, in California, and he'd not been able to do that. Eiji had been taken, right under his nose. If Ash Lynx couldn't protect him, then what hope did anyone else have?

Now everyone knew he had a weak spot.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Yeah." Alex paused. Smoke came out his nose, as he laughed. "'Cos he's your girl."

Ash punched his shoulder. Enough to smart, but not to bruise. He took the final drag of his cigarette, and crushed it under his converse, as he headed back inside. Didn't correct Alex.

Came face to face with Eiji, once he was back inside the bar. Eiji, dithering with a bottle in his hand, and looking concerned.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, when Ash was close enough.

The dim lights made his eyelashes spidery shadows on his cheeks. Caught in his dark eyes, and if Ash looked long enough, he could map galaxies in them. There was something about Eiji Okumura. He was unreasonably kind and thoughtful and if Ash was feeling philosophical about it, he would say something about his innocence – that boy had never seen a gun. But it was that stupid stubbornness Ash felt drawn to, like a moth to a flame.

If they were alone, he’d kiss him. He didn’t think that was possible, even if the boys knew, because he didn’t think Eiji would want that.

Instead, he smiled. Flung his arm around Eiji's shoulders, and steered him towards the bar. Eiji let him. It didn't matter if anyone saw, Ash thought, because all the boys knew anyway. The knew, and they'd protect Eiji.

"Everything's fine," Ash said. Aware that he stunk of cigarettes, but Eiji didn't pull away. If anything, he leant into him slightly. "Just peachy."

He didn't think Eiji believed him. He didn't quite believe himself. He felt itchy, ready for an attack, like a guard dog. Eiji was in danger, because of him. Because it was obvious how Ash felt about him.

But the gang would protect him. Ash would protect him.

Eiji was his.

[linagram]

so that raincoat collab..

notes about the meanings of everyone's poses are under the cut!

akio: akio doesn't have an umbrella, he just has his hood on and he has this angry look on his face. back in season 1, akio just wanted to be voted innocent and truly believed he deserved to be forgiven and even though being voted guilty made him change as a person, he still doesn't care about the "moral side" of his verdicts, since now he just wants to be forgiven because being punished again can literally cost him his life. he still doesn't want to do anything with the guards or the verdict system, so he doesn't have an umbrella, but he still doesn't want to die, so at least he has his head covered.

shun: shun was very happy when the guards voted him innocent, since he believed his crime wasn't a crime at all and his thoughts were affirmed. however, he got "betrayed" by the guards since they decided to vote him guilty in season 2. this is why he has his umbrella lying on the ground: he really believed that the guards will still be on his side, but he was wrong.

kei: kei is holding his umbrella. he is accepting his verdicts. even though he was voted guilty by his own brother and brutally punished by him as well, he loves him too much to get mad at him. it also looks like he's offering his umbrella to shun which might look cute OR look like a reminder of how unhealthy their relationship is (kei was more than happy to flirt with shun back in season 1 and shun just acted shy and claimed to be taken, but in season 2, shun gladly joined eiko when she started to basically bully kei and shun got a new outfit to look more like kei) but also.. kei is winking here. the eye that he has closed here is the same eye that shun lost because of kei. think about the implications <3

asahi: he has his umbrella closed, but he's still holding it. asahi doesn't like eiji and he sure will not like hinode, but he likes miki. she's the only guard that he cares about, but he cares about her A LOT. so you can interpret his pose as him still being suspicious of the other guards, but wanting to be as close with miki as possible.

riku: my boy doesn't have an umbrella AND he doesn't have his hood on. sure, riku wants to be forgiven, but also.. he understands that even an innocent verdict won't make his pain go away. in fact, he will most likely just hurt himself even more to keep making the guards feel sorry for him and continue forgiving him. a little spoiler for his trial 3 vd, but there's a moment when he says that there is no verdict that will help him or make his situation better. so his head is not covered, he doesn't have an umbrella with him and he's also holding his hand out to feel the raindrops. riku kuroki why are you like this

aimi: her pose is similar to asahi's and the meaning is similar as well: she only cares about miki. however, i tried to make her pose look a bit more desperate, like she's even more dependent on her than miki's own brother. aimi doesn't care about her verdict. she only cares about finally having a friend.

naomi: naomi has claimed multiple times that she doesn't care about her verdict and she doesn't care about the other prisoners' verdicts as well (not counting asahi. the fuck them kids mindset is still there) so she doesn't have an umbrella with her and it also looks like she's taking her hood off. however, i like to think as this naomi in particular as t2 naomi: getting an innocent verdict and starting to become more confident. confident enough to feel like you don't have to protect yourself anymore. she still got a guilty verdict though so maybe an umbrella wouldn't hurt.

eiko: oh this girl is so happy about her umbrella! look at the way she's holding it! this totally doesn't have anything to do with her obsession with eiji at all! eiko really doesn't care about the verdicts, but she loves her poor little meow meow too much, so she still cares about milgram in some way. there's also her brother being the fourth guard that never got an opportunity to actually do his job and the possibility of her parents having something to do with it.. her pose is also kinda similar to kei's pose which is a nice bonus since they're a pair.

yurika: THE GIRL IS NOT HAPPY ABOUT HER TWO GUILTY VERDICTS. she's the only prisoner that's sitting on the ground. she doesn't have an umbrella with her, showing that she HATES the guards and she HATES her verdicts (and how verdicts work in general), but she still has her hood on. the girl doesn't want to die. she REALLY doesn't want to die. (and her t3 vd will show it well </3)

reina: reina doesn't have an umbrella with her, which was to be expected from miss "i'm actually a serial killer hehe >:D please vote me guilty please please guys i'm begging i would rather die than live with the knowledge of what i've done". she doesn't care about the guards' opinions anymore. she does have her hood on, but in her case it's not related to her life, i simply thought it would fit her vibe well, since she's a person who finds it hard to be honest with others and is very secretive.

[chaoslynx]

So glad ur back & I hope you’re doing well! I recently have been listening to a lot of Alex G and his song No Bitterness is so ash coded… “my teacher is a child with a big smile, no bitterness”… ash healing his inner child by being a good big brother to Michael :’) could be a good idea for a fic <3 your writing is amazing and I hope life is treating you better!!!!

Ash knows that jaded isn't a bad word to describe him, in more ways than one.

There's the color, of course. Jade. His middle name. But beyond that, Ash knows that he's ... disillusioned, shall he say, with the world around him. Jaded. It makes sense, when you've seen the things he has.

Ash wasn't out of place with this, at least not for a long time. Most of the people around him were also disillusioned. They'd all seen shit in some way or another, though hopefully few as bad as Ash. They saw past the sparkling NYC lights and into the filth coating every inch of the city, no matter how high the tax brackets became in some areas. They saw past the smiles to the teeth, and past the outstretched hands to the claws.

Ash tried to protect Skip's innocence in as many was as he could, but he was always a bit late to that. And Ash got Skipper killed in the end, so maybe he didn't do much good.

Eiji was one of the first people Ash met—past Griff, at least—who didn't share that same jadedness as he did. But there were more, after him. Well, not after, because Eiji stayed by Ash's side. But there were more people since meeting Eiji who also seemed ... hopeful, almost.

Max, stupidly, despite the war he'd been a part of. Jessica, despite the harm Ash just existing caused her. Ibe, who always seemed more than a touch overwhelmed by everything taking place in the States.

And, of course, Michael.

Michael is a little younger than Skip had been, and around the same age that Ash gained his current perspective on life. Ash is determined to not let the same happen to Michael.

When he stays over at Max and Jessica's place, Ash has his own room—the guest room, really, but they always tell him it's his whenever he wants it. This guest room is upstairs in the house, and shares a wall with Michael's room. Ash worries about this sometimes, since he knows his nightmares aren't always quiet. After the time he punched Bones' teeth out when the kid tried to wake him up from a nightmare, Ash made sure the gang stayed away from him when he was asleep, no matter how much pain he seemed to be in.

Max and Jessica told Ash that he was welcome to use the lock on the guest room door. At first, Ash was hesitant. After all, this isn't his house. This isn't his room. How could he lock the people who live here out?

It was Michael, in the end, who changed Ash's mind. Not that Michael actually did anything, but Ash realized that with them sharing a wall, there was a chance Michael would hear one of Ash's nightmares and go to check on him. Ash, of course, couldn't let that happen, so he started locking the door.

It didn't occur to Ash until it happened that he might be able to hear Michael's nightmares through the wall, too.

Stupidly, it didn't really occur to Ash that 'normal' kids like Michael even had nightmares. Not that Michael hasn't had more than his fair share of pain, much of it due to Ash's influence himself. He really should have known better ...

Still, the first time he hears Michael cry out in his sleep, Ash finds his hand reaching for a gun that's no longer there.

"Michael?" Ash calls, cautiously. Is there an intruder?

"M-Mommy," Michael says. His voice is muffled by sleep and the wall between them.

Without another thought, Ash makes his way toward Michael's room.

He might not have his gun anymore, and it might be too late for him. But as long as there's still goodness in this world—as long as there are still kids like Michael, and the potential for them to grow into adults who are better than Ash—

Then maybe Ash can push aside his own bitterness, those past memories that have jaded him, in favor of learning from someone who's never tasted their own blood on someone else's tongue.

[aichi-division]

Eiji's Memoirs

Narrated by Eiji Mizoguchi

The truth is that this memoir thing is something that is very strange to me, but at Shōta-san insistence, I'll do my best to tell you some things about myself.

I lived most of my life in L.A. I grew up in the subs. I learned to live in a system that, despite constantly discriminating against POC, we were armed with music and rap, especially. Lamar, Wu-Tang Clan, Dr Dre... I grew up with them. I had a group of homies with whom we survived and hung out on the streets... good times.

Until I had to move to Japan.

I never had any interest in leaving L.A in a first place; but I also understood that the decision was because of the work of my father, Haruto Mizoguchi. He is a researcher and professor of sciencie. Without my sis, we moved to Japan with anything but a lot of dreams.

But the change was very hard, especially in the first few months.

When my classmates realized that I was, as they call me, a hafu freak, they simply wouldn't leave me alone never again. Since then, I really HATED Japan, its culture and everything related to it very much. I had hope that living from zero in an unknown country would -somehow- help me to out of the shadows of my big sis, but it was the opposite.

Yeah, I was very naive. But okay, you have to assume that from now on, the context boils down to the following: a japanese afroamerican being literally bullied by his peers, single handedly. I really don't want to elaborate too much on this, I mean, I think it might be uncomfortable for anyone reading this. But it wasn't all so terrible, well... at that time I didn't realize it, but as soon as I stepped foot in that school, I caught the attention of a very… special dude.

Issey really was like a light in that hole. Well, the truth is that it came like a thunderbolt, thunderous and painful. He was a popular guy, literally, very popular. But not one of those arrogant popular ones, but on the contrary, he was a very sweet, friendly and even annoying person at times. For me he was very annoying, mostly because he was OBSESSED with trying to get to know me and get some small talk topic out of me about the USA and I don't know what else bullshit.

You have to understand that at that time, I didn't trust absolutely no one and, well, trusting a talkative and colorful Japanese guy just didn't make sense to me. I tried to ignore him many times and other times I simply told him to go fuck himself. But he never stopped.

Nah, he never stopped.

It took him a whole afternoon to catch me and almost kidnap me to try to be my friend.

The moment he held me in his arms, smiling like a maniacal psychopath, I knew that maybe my life in Japan wouldn't be so miserable and that this guy really was a… nice guy. Never in my life has someone been so interested in me, so genuinely. I think it was inevitable that I would be attracted to him…. I mean, in a friendly way, of course.

Out of courtesy, I accepted his invitation to be his friend and later his division partner. Actually, participating in D.B.R. came as a genuine surprise to me. I never saw myself competing in an area that has historically been my big sister's territory. Rapping, composing… it was something that was in my blood. And curiously Issey was able to detect it in me.

I really hope that idiot isn't reading this, because he'd be bugging me for the rest of the week. But the truth is, I'm very grateful to be his friend. I don't know what I would be without that jerk.

Well, anyway, I ended up in the Aichi division, along with Shouta-san, our designated leader from Issey. The truth… is that I didn't have much confidence in Shouta's ability to rap or… well, to do whatever. When we met him, he was really high. VERY high. I always felt a little sorry for him and I really regret treating him badly in the beginning.

Our leader is a rather self-conscious man but with a resilience that you don't often see and I admire that about him. Despite his addictions and his actions that lead him to self-sabotage, he always tried to teach us to follow our dreams and does his best to accompany us in that. He literally does more than my own parents, no joke.

I don't like it when other people try to take advantage of him, sometimes he can be a very good person or, on the contrary, be very vulnerable.

Shouta-san, if you read this, please take care of yourself. The division would not be the same without you. Issey admires you, even if he doesn't say so openly. I believe that deep down, he is afraid to put more weight on your shoulders. You're a good guy.

I really don't know how to end this, but I really just want to say that I am very grateful for what I have now and I really hope we can win the D.B.R., not for the money, but for others to take us seriously, you know what I mean? I know there are several competitors that maybe see us in less, you know, because we are common, ordinary and losers. Well maybe Issey is the exception… but the truth is, we shouldn't be underestimated.

Who knows, at some point we might surprise them and eliminate them from the competition.

[forkroid]

So I just finished Kamen Rider OOO, and I have so many thoughts and feelings and I honestly cannot believe they actually ended it the way they did.

I know some of my friends are still watching it so I'm putting the rest under the cut

I was waiting for there to be another 10min of show where they'd follow up on the, like, "desire is a powerful thing that can bring evolutionary change never before seen" and the whole thing about Hina figuring out how to save Eiji, Shingo, AND Ankh to come up with SOME way to fix Ankh's broken medal.

Like it seemed like there were a lot of moments pointing to that- some miraculous change or big!!!! Thing!!!! that Kougami seemed to hint at through the whole show. But then the credits started rolling, and then when the credits had like a "look what everyone is up to now" thing going in the background I thought maybe they were gonna get to it there- and I guess they kind of did sorrrrta with Eiji looking at the medal pieces and being like "someday I'll find a way..." with Ankh's??? Ghost????? Following him around, and just kind of left it open ended, but I guess I kind of expected something a little more on the nose considering all the lead up?

I guess maybe that just could have simply been referring to the final OOOs "power up" or whatever? But honestly that wasn't mind-blowingly powerful since Maki managed to deflect that one massive blow with relative ease, and it was using Ankh's medals that actually gave him the power to finish the job.

So I guess I was sort of expecting some extra "miracle" to happen or something? Maybe I was just hoping for some deus ex machina thing to save the day and have everyone live happily ever after or something. But at the same time I'm not actually that upset about the ending, because it was kind of the logical conclusion - Ankh couldn't stay in Shingo's body, that was never going to happen, so what excuse could they give for him to have a body of his own? It's not like the medals grant wishes. Maybe there could have been some mad science or something building off the work of those ancient alchemists or whatever, but that would have really been pulled from nowhere. I was almost hoping they would, like, idk have shared custody of Eiji's body?? Since there was so much weird stuff happening with Eiji's body?? Kind of like a Revice situation??

But I also like everyone to have a good, happy ending. I wanted Ankh to have better. I wanted him to actually consciously appreciate the life he had after he finally realized he had it. Not just retrospectively, not just "I am able to die because you helped me live" in the last 2~3 episodes. I wanted him to have a future of experiences he could actually enjoy in the moment. But just because that's how I wanted it to go doesn't mean that was how it should have ended either.

Honestly, Ankh's character development felt so delayed to me that I was concerned they weren't going to get to it, yet somehow the scene with him and Eiji fighting in the water didn't feel like an afterthought, it was really satisfying and dramatic. I can't be mad cause they really hooked me in and tugged on all my heartstrings, and it was pretty emotional when Ankh decided to basically sacrifice himself fighting rather than focus on his own self preservation.

It was a good ending I think, even if I'm admittedly a sucker for "and then everyone lived" endings over "the consequences are real and the deaths are permanent and that's what makes his actions meaningful" endings.

[00just-a-pancake00]

An Explosive Night

After a rough day of school and internship works, Bakugou and Kirishima unwinds themselves before sleeping.

Lers: Bakugou/Kirishima

Lees: Kirishima/Bakugou

-----

It was a normal night in UA, and no Nomu appeared... well they did, but not anymore. Anyway,

Katsuki Bakugou and Eijirou Kirishima were getting ready for bed. They changed into their sleeping clothes, brushed their teeth, and entered Kirishima's room they shared tonight because Bakugou's room was occupied by Aizawa's cats.

"Whew, I thought this fucking day would never end," sighed Bakugou, putting his clothes onto the floor near his sleeping bag.

"Yeah, first, some children gets kidnapped, then we get lost in an Illusion Villain's dungeon for hours, then we almost get killed. This wasn't the best day ever," Kirishima agreed.

"I'm just glad it's over. Hey, what time is it anyway?"

Kirishima looked at the alarm clock next to his bed.

"It's only 9:28," he answered.

"Really? It feels later than that...hmm. So, do you want to do something to pass the goddamn time?"

"Um, okay, what do you want to do?"

Bakugou shrugged. "I don't know, maybe we can..." The blonde than paused for a moment. Then he stared at the redhead for a few seconds and smirked, making the shark feel unconfortable. Before he could even think about running away, Bakugou pinned him to the ground.

"Bakubro! Please get off me!" panicked Kirishima.

"Why are you so nervous, Kiri?" Katsuki asked.

"None of your business, Bakugou! Now please get off me!"

"What's bugging you?"

Kirishima was both scared and completely annoyed. "I said NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"

"Are you worried that I'm gonna tickle you?" Bakugou asked.

"Please DON'T!"

Bakugou placed a hand on his roomate's shoulder and smiled. "Hey don't worry."

"Y-You weren't going to tickle me?" Kirishima asked nervously. But then he calmed down. "Oh, thank goodness. You almost had me there."

"No, I was going to," snickered Bakugou. "I just didn't want you to be nervous."

"Kats, please no!"

Bakugou ignored him and wiggled his fingers on his friend's belly.

"Kahahahahahatsuhuhukiehehehehe! Stohahahahahahahahahaha. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" giggled Kirishima, struggling to get out of his partner's grip.

"Oh please , Eiji, I just started. I'm not just gonna stop," Bakugou smirked.

"Plehehehehehehehehehease stop!" begged the shark.

The blonde pretended to think about it.

"Hmm... let me think... nah!" the cimson-eyed blonde said, before he moved to Kirishima's sides, increasing his laughter.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NO! KAHAHATSUHUKIHIHI! STOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!" Kirishima shouted.

"Eijirou, it's not my fault you're even more ticklish than I am," laughed Bakugou with a wide smuggly grin.

"STOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP IT! PLEASE! KNOCK IT OFF! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

"You're so cute when you laugh! I think I'll kick it up a notch!"

Bakugou then began blowing raspberries on his belly. Kirishima's laughter grew louder as it tickled him so much.

"OH SHIHIT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! KAHAHAHHATSUHUHUKIEHEHEHEHE! QUIT IT! IT TICKLES SO MUCH! HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Bakugou then began to tickle his underarms.

"NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! STOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I CAN'T BREHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEATHE!"

Seeing that he couldn't take it anymore, Bakugou stopped tickling Kirishima, letting him breathe.

"Now that wasn't so damn bad now was it?" Bakugou asked, smug.

"N-Not... f-for me..." Kirishima panted while standing up. "Now, if y-you... excuse me, I-I need to... wash t-the sweat off me f-face..."

Red Riot walked slowly out the bedroom and to the bathroom to splash his face with cold water. Once he was done and was about to leave the bathroom, something on the bathroom shelf caught his eye.

It was the same long white feather Mina and Denki used to tickle him. Thye must have left it here by mistake. Before Kirishima grabbed it, he noticed that it was next to an electric toothbrush, which was still in it's box.

The red boy stared at them in his hands and that's when he got an idea. He opened the box, put the toothbrush in his pocket along with the feather, and walked back to the bedroom.

"Hey, what took you so long, Shit hair?" Bakugou asked, walking over to his brother.

"I told you, I was washing the sweat off my face," answered Kirishima. "So, what time is it now?"

" It's only 10:04. We still have about twenty-six minutes."

"Good, because there's something I'd like to do."

"What?"

Kirishima said nothing. Instead, he actually pinned Bakugou down on the ground.

"K-Kiri! What are you doing?" asked Bakugou with a big blush.

"Oh nothing," snickered Kirishima. "I'm just doing my turn."

"Your turn to what?"

"To do the tickling."

Bakugou widened his eyes, but remembered something.

"Eiji, may I remind that you're more ticklish than me?"

"No, I don't think Im more ticklish than you," said Kirishima. "I think I'm just as ticklish as you, but in different ways."

"W-What do you mean?"

Kirishima ignored him, hardened his hands a bit to worsen the sensation and began tickling his sides, making him giggle instantley.

"Kihihihrihihi! Stohahahahahahahahap it! Cut it out! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!" giggled the explosive bean.

"Sorry, no can do, Bakugou," Eijirou said, as he shook his head. "You tickled me when I begged to stop, so why can't I?"

"Nohohohohohohohoho! Knock it off! Ahahahahahahahahaha!"

Kirishima stopped tickling his friend and grabbed the feather from his pocket. Bakugou widened his eyes.

"Nononono! Eijiro, not THAT!"

Kirishima then stroked the feather on Bakugou's toned midriff while he used his other hand to tickle his sides. The explosive boy immediately started laughing.

"OH NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! STOP KIHIHIRIHIHI! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Bakugou shouted. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! STOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"I have to admit, Katsuki, you're cute when you laugh," snickered Kirishima, before moving the feather in his underarms.

"OH NO! NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! KIHIHIRIHIHISHIHIHIMAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! STOP!" laughed Bakugou, "STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Now do you know how I feel about you tickling me?" Kirishima asked, as he stopped tickling him. "That's something we have in common. We may like being tickled a little, but we enjoy tickling EACH OTHER."

"And D-D-Denki... and Ashido did it t-to us..." Bakugou panted. "...Are y-you... done... now?"

"Just one more thing~"

Kirishima then took off Bakugou's slippers, grabbing his electric toothbrush and started swirling the bristles around his feet in circles.

"HOHOHOLYSHIHIHIT! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! EHEHEHEIAAAAHAAAAHAAHAAA! THAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAT'S ENOUGH!" Bakugou howled. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! STOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!"

"Calm down, Katsuki," chuckled Kirishima, "Midoriya told me about this spot so that's why I tried."

He's gonna kill that nerd later.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP IT! I CAN'T BREATHE! MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAKE IT STOP! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Suddenly, the tickling stopped. Bakugou was gasping for air before Kirishima helped him up.

"I told you it'd be over soon."

Bakugou then smiled. "You know what, Shitty Hair, you were right."

"Right about what?"

"That maybe we're both as ticklish as each other. And that we liked being tickled a little, but like tickling each other."

"Told ya," Kirishima happily nodded, before he and his bestie looked at the clock, which said 10:30.

"We should get to bed now, b-ro," Bakugou pointed out, still his first time saying such address. Heading to his bed as Kirishima heads to his sleeping bag.

"Okay, Goodnight, Katsuki."

[mtdthoughts]

Miscellaneous Migi & Dali Observations

Some random thoughts I've had. I may or may not expand these in subsequent posts.

Spoiler warning as always!

I think it's fair to say that Dali has always been protective of Migi, and while Migi does his best to make Dali happy, he wasn't really "protective" toward Dali because he believed Dali was strong and was not aware of his underlying issues. After Episode 9, I think it's fair to say that Migi became protective towards Dali, now fully aware of both his strength and weakness. This caused Dali to become aware of Migi's strength, as the twins become mutually protective of each other, and I think that this shot from Episode 12 best symbolizes this.

2. I can't believe I've never brought this up before, but putting these shots in parallel is quite interesting, as it shows how Migi rejected and then accepted Dali, and later how Dali rejected and then accepted Eiji. I might write more about this if I can think of anything.

3. I wonder, whose idea was the aquarium date? Migi’s or Dali’s? I’m leaning towards Dali, considering he seems to know some things about romance, and it was him who proposed the date in the first place.

4. By the way, how does Dali know so much about romance and seduction? Did he learn all these techniques from books? I know he’s a heavy reader, but I think it would take a lot more than just reading to pull it off this well. I'm thinking that it's a combination of reading, his determination to fulfill the mission, and his natural charisma. Also, maybe Dali's disguise and act reveals what Dali's ideal partner would look like? At the very least, it's clear that Dali actually has interest in romance, similar to Eiji.

5. Speaking of Sali, how did Dali pick his outfit and wig? We know that there are tons of choices in Youko's closet, so how did he decide? Perhaps he has a good(?) sense of fashion, or perhaps this is once again another example in what Dali thinks an ideal girl looks like.

6. In the manga, the twins were seen in the orphanage reading "The Three Billy Goats Gruff", which is a fairy tale about three goats who were able to cross a bridge guarded by a troll by combining bravery, wit, and teamwork to trick and defeat it. I wonder if there's anything meaning to this...

7. Speaking of Dali's books, he is seen reading what appears to be "Franny and Zooey", which was one of J.D. Salinger's major novels, which is likely how Dali came up with "Sali" from Salinger. I haven't read it myself, but I found a description of the novel that says it explores themes of identity, spirituality, familial relationships, and the search for meaning in a world that often seems meaningless; it is also celebrated for its sharp wit, incisive dialogue, and psychological depth. Honestly, that sounds just like Migi & Dali, and I do wonder how much influence Salinger's book had on Sano's manga. Probably not as much Kristof's Book of Lies Trilogy, but who knows. Maybe I'll read it when I have the chance.

[skijjiki]

top 5 characters you headcanon as aro or ace or aroace! or top 5 ships!

I was gonna try and make this more coherent after work tomorrow but no, you get 7am incoherent answers :D thanks for the ask nio <33

5. Miles Edgeworth

--despite how much narumitsu I post, I REALLY love the hc of aro[ace?] Edgeworth, especially with lines that would support it (like this one below)

Image reads: "Exactly what is so wrong with wishing to remain unwed?!"

Everything about him would remain the same, his devotion to the truth and to Phoenix as well! Edgeworth remains the same (in my mind, at least) in all cirumstances. His devotion just. Ugh. Chef's kiss. It's phenomenal, and it would hit just as well in platonic circumstances, like. I am so devoted to you, my friend, let's traverse this crazy world together.

4. Foo Fighters

--aside from the fact they are just plankton taking a corpse's body as a host, I think I really connected to Foo because of how devoted she was to Jolyne as a friend and how much their platonic love resonated within and meant so much to Jolyne. I just really love when platonic love is shown to hit just as hard as romantic love, and how friends can and will go to any lengths for their friend(s), and FF was/is such a great representation of that.

3. Ash Lynx

--as much as I adore the idea of asheiji, I think Ash was very aroace coded (at the very least aro-coded). Finding meaning in his really bleak world via his friendships (mainly with Shorter and Eiji) and those friendships keeping him going despite everything he had to deal with really meant a lot to me. Ash means a lot to me!! And I will forever think that killing him off was such a terrible ending, sends SUCH a bad message. Anyways this wasn't supposed to be a BF rant. He found happiness within someone (Eiji) who saw the worst parts of him, saw what he was capable of, as well as the trauma he carried and wanted to get closer despite all that. I just love!! When people can see the ugly sides of each other and use that to get closer instead of drift apart, it makes me !!!! WAHHH, especially with friends, like. No matter what, I will always be there for you! I do not expect any reimbursement or rewards or whatever, I just want to be by your side forever as your friend!! And that's what Ash wanted with Eiji; to be his friend and remain by his side, because they really accepted each other and made each other happy. He didn't necessarily crave intimacy or affection, he just wanted to have someone who would accept him despite it all. Can you tell how Normal I am about him :)

2. Ritsu Kageyama

--I don't have an explanation. I just have a feeling 😭 something about Ritsu just screams aro aro aro aro a-

1. Jotaro Kujo

--I also don't have an explanation, I just feel it 😭 I know he got married but maybe at some point he had a realization or something? I really don't know but he was also a character that seemed to be much more impacted by his friendships. I guess you could use the fact that he rejected girls left and right as evidence but Jotaro's just an asshole so for me, that doesn't really prove much lol. And it's not even an "I can't see him being romantic with anyone and being happy! He's too independent for that kind of stuff!!" kind of thing; I believe if he let himself be vulnerable with a romantic partner, he very well could, but it's the fact he's much more likely to do this with friends and finds contentment via his friendships that just make me believe he at least has aro aspects of him. He could be, or he could not! Either way, he's an interesting character

[turnupswritessometimes]

The One About Christmas - AshEiji - 12 Days of Ficmas

A03 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52217968/chapters/132084811 (It helps to heave read my Wedding fic, but it's not mandatory to understand what's going on.)

Day One: Christmas Party:

There was a college party. There were actually lots of college parties, but the psychology department of Stony Brook University was having its own Christmas Party. A proper, formal one, organised by the staff, as a congratulations for the students: despite them all having copious amounts of work over the holidays.

A normal Christmas party. Only Ash wasn't exactly normal. He couldn't help but feel, as he tied his tie, that he was tying a noose. His hands stilled. He stared at his reflection in the mirror. It had all come so naturally. He'd combed his hair back in the same way he'd used so. With the shirt and tie and jacket – it felt like he was stood back in his room at Golzine's mansion. As though he was getting ready for one of those parties.

And now he could feel fingers brushing a stray hair back; tilting his chin up and reminding him to stand straight; at the small of his back just to remind him he was a decoration. The same as the nutcracker on the mantle, only he’d never get the chance to return to his own candy kingdom.

His stomach forced itself into his throat. He couldn’t swallow.

"Ash?"

He blinked.

Eiji was at the door of the bathroom, leaning against the frame. Creasing his shirt, because it didn't really matter, Ash thought. It was an undergraduate college party.

"We don't have to go, if you don't want to."

They were allowed plus ones. There had been no question that Eiji was coming.

"I want to go." Ash's neck felt flushed, and it felt hard to take a breath. "Just not – looking..."

Eiji's eyes softened. Like they always did, ever since he found out. It just felt worse now that Ash’s past was completely in the past.

"Don't," Ash said.

"Here." Eiji stepped forward. Ash stared at the line of his hair, just above the collar of his shirt. It was inky black, shining in the light of the bathroom. Eiji looked handsome, like this – because it was a novelty.

Eiji's hands loosened his tie, and left it crooked. They slipped under the jacket, and slid it off from Ash's shoulders. It fell to the bathroom floor in a heap.

"Wear your bomber jacket, instead," Eiji said. Like it was simple.

"That's not formal."

"What are they going to do?" Eiji looked at him from beneath his dark lashes. His eyes caught the electric bathroom light, and shone like dark, rich honey. "Kick you out?"

"Maybe."

"Then we'll get takeaway and slow dance in the apartment, instead."

Ash raised an eyebrow. "Well, now I want to skip."

Eiji chuckled, and it was a brilliant sound. His hands crumbled the shirt as he held Ash's arms, reaching up to kiss him. He returned it, his eyes closing. Sighed, when he felt Eiji's hands in his hair, ruffling it out of style, twisting it in the long strands at the back.

Ash clung to him when he tried to pull away, hooking his fingers into Eiji's belt loops. But he was only taking Ash's hand. He had Max's cufflinks, in his pocket, from their wedding day. Fixed them on each of sleeves, his fingers practised and careful.

"There." He hooked his fingers into Ash's, leading him back into the bedroom. "Very rebel without a cause."

Ash winked and grinned. But he had a cause, once. He’d been a rebel, because there’d been a man to stop. Drugs to stop. The good fight to fight. Now Golzine – all other men – were dead, and he didn’t have a purpose. Instead, he had a degree to work towards. Less gunfights and peril and more all-nighters and caffeine.

He shrugged on his bomber jacket, and Eiji caught the front to kiss him again. It became open-mouthed; became Ash's tongue pressing against Eiji's, and his hands making even more creases in Eiji's jacket. Their hips pressed together, and he felt Eiji catch his breath.

They could keep doing this. Could blow off the party, and have sex instead. Try and have sex. They didn't always get all the way. Eiji said it was fine – that he didn't mind – but that had to be a lie. He wasn't actually an angel, willing to bare with Ash every step of the way. He had to be annoyed, even if he didn’t say it.

And Eiji nipped at Ash's lip before he pulled away, his bangs falling into his eyes. "Come on, James Dean, we'll be late."

Ash sighed, dramatically, but followed. Drove to campus with his hand on Eiji's thigh, and Eiji's hand over his. His heart raced. This made him feel alive.

They parked. The campus was all glass buildings, yellow lights; all modern and imposing. He’d looked around with Max, the two of them arguing over the leaflet. Eiji brought Ash's hand to his mouth. He kissed his knuckles, individually. They could stay here, Ash thought, but if he said that, Eiji would tease him for being scared.

He wasn't scared. Not of a Christmas party. His first normal Christmas party.

But they still weren't normal. They found that out when they walked up the steps and followed the distant sound of Christmas music to the lecture hall. Ash's professor – a dark haired woman who seemed to notice every little movement around her, greeted him warmly enough. Her dark eyes examined Eiji.

"And is this your friend? Boyfriend?"

Ash couldn't help grinning. He always did, when he got to say it.

"This is my husband." And he held up their joint hands so that Eiji's wedding ring caught the light. Eiji ducked his chin, his cheeks flushed, but held out his hand politely.

"My name's Eiji Okumura," he said. "It's good to meet you."

His teacher, Mary Catherine, shook Eiji's hand with a polite smile, though she still examined them both. Ash felt his skin prickle under the scrutiny.

"God," she said. "Married and neither of you should legally drink yet. That's – brave."

Ash just smiled. It didn't feel hugely brave. Not with everything else that had happened to him. Not compared to everything that Eiji did to stay by his side. Brave was disobeying Ash Lynx.

The party was held in the usual lecture room; a room not designed for socialising, Ash thought. But tinsel and fairy lights had been strung over the seats and around the board (complete with a wobbly 'Merry Christmas' written there). The front row of desks had been entirely taken over by snacks, whereas the teacher's desk was laden with a non-alcoholic mulled wine cannister, cards packed in willy-nilly around it. There was faint music coming from a laptop: a top 100 Christmas hits. All in all, it felt very school disco, just with young adults instead of young children. Everyone stood in clusters, chatting, over sprawled over the lecture seats in tight clusters.

They attracted attention. Eiji attracted attention, Ash thought, because he lit up every room he was in. But also because he knew he was the odd one out. No one knew he didn’t have a high school diploma, but it was like they still felt it. He’d sat an exam, written an essay, had a letter of recommendation, and that had gotten his place.

Soon they were surrounded by his classmates, whilst they all clutched glasses of lukewarm fake-mulled-wine, and the teachers chatted amongst themselves.

"It's so interesting to meet you.” One blonde girl beamed at Eiji.

"Ash is so mysterious!” The guy who sat next to Ash in the hall said. “We know nothing about his personal life."

"When he mentioned his husband, I thought he was being, like, ironic,” the blonde girl’s friend added.

Ash took a sip of wine, swirling it around his tongue. He chatted with everyone amicably enough, and mentioned Eiji often, he knew. They probably counted him as a friend. He couldn’t feel the same way. It all felt too shallow.

Eiji just laughed, politely. Charmingly. He was charming.

"So, how did you meet?"

Eiji caught Ash's eye. He raised his eyebrows, and choose to take another sip of wine. He wanted to hear how Eiji told it.

"I was working as a photographer for a journalist friend," Eiji said. “We were doing a piece in New York City. That’s when I saw Ash.”

"And then he asked to hold my gun."

The three tittered, their eyes wide. “Seriously?"

He’d made sure to make it sound like something else entirely, and it made Eiji choke on his own wine. He elbowed Ash, who had to bite his cheek to stop from grinning.  

The question made Ash think very quickly in just a second. He realised the context; the very reason Eiji had been there in the first place; the gangs, the drugs, the deaths. Who Ash Lynx was.

He swallowed. "Sorry. It's - an inside joke."

"I'm totally against guns," blonde girl said. "They should be completely banned."

It thankfully brought up the tired gun law debate, and Ash was forgotten, for a bit. That was always easier; when he didn’t have to talk about himself.

Eiji met his eye. His cheeks were red, and he loved that he could still make him look like that.

Ash forced himself to smile. But he was very aware they hadn't met conventionally - that nothing about them, or their relationship was conventional. How could he say that he'd dragged Eiji into a life-or-death situation from day one? Kept doing it, because he was selfish and in love. How could he explain that as much trouble as guns brought, he had loved his. It had been an extension of himself; its weight had felt right in his waistband. Aiming and shooting had been second nature – had felt right – a cheetah learning to run. He was a weapon, and that had been his fangs.

He'd loved his gun.

He couldn't say that. He couldn't say that a gun had saved him when he was eight years old. He’d have to explain too much. None of them knew anything. He didn’t want them to know anything about him. For once, he wanted to be considered normal.

Eiji leant across, to whisper in his ear, "At least they didn't ask about our first kiss."

And it was Ash's turn to choke. Absolutely not, he thought. These kids would be horrified if they knew he'd been to jail. (More than once, he thought.) Even more horrified that Ash didn’t ask Eiji's permission – and then they was everything else.

He reached round Eiji's back, and curled his finger in his belt loop. Not quite an imitation of what happened, but Eiji nudged their hips together.

Another girl had joined them, twirling her hair around her finger. "I really can't get over it - you're just so cute together."

"Like, total golden retriever, black cat vibes,” the blonde girl added.

He knew they were both blinking in bafflement. But kept smiling, politely. Not so different, then, from the old parties, Ash thought. All he had to do was smile and nod and perform. Only, at the end of this one, he'd be going home with Eiji. They didn't even have to have sex, if he didn't want to. They could lay in bed and watch a cheesy Christmas movie until they fell asleep. He liked that ending more than being told to be a good boy for Santa.

Eiji was grilled, of course, on who he was and what he did for a living. Eiji was much more at ease in answering those questions; he was good at small talk. His dark eyes shone like chestnuts, his smile gleaming. But Ash kept tracing over the white line of Eiji's shirt collar against his tanned skin. A curl of dark hair sat just under his ear lobe.

He downed his drink, heart thudding.

"So, are you at college too?" the guy asked Eiji.

Who did falter, then. "No. I'm - not."

And Ash noticed his expression change, then. Even as the rest of them uncovered that Eiji was from Japan - assumed he was an expert on Tokyo - and looked polite but disappointed when he said he was from a city they'd never heard of. Asked him to say stuff in Japanese, and Eiji complied.

The music got louder. And even though the wine was non-alcoholic, students started to dance. They swung the tinsel around and leant on each other and Ash knew they should join in, but he didn’t do this kind of dancing. He’d always leant against the bar and looked serious; he’d had a reputation to uphold.

Had.

They decided to head off, not long after that.

“You’re an intriguing person, Ash Okumura,” Mary Catherine, his teacher, said, when she shook his hand goodbye. Her grip was strong.

“Thank you,” he said, because it seemed the only thing he could say.

“There’s more to you than meets the eye.”

“Isn’t that true of everyone?”

She shrugged. Cast her eyes over the crowd gathered there, and leant closer, just slightly. Her hair fell forward. “To be honest, Ash, most of this class won’t continue on after undergrad. The ones that make it past masters is even fewer. But I think you’re one of those few that’ll go on to the doctorate. And I’m looking forward to calling you Doctor Okumura.”

It didn’t make him feel normal, but in a different way. It made him feel like he was struck with lightning; like there was something more to him. Something more than the nutcracker in the corner to be taken to bed later. And it felt satisfying to become something more.

He smiled at her. And thought that he’d still be wearing crooked ties and bomber jackets even then. A rebel with a new cause.

“So,” Eiji said, as they slid into the car. “How was it?”

He didn’t start the car, just yet. Instead, he kissed the line of tan skin that he’d been staring at all evening. Relished in Eiji’s sigh at the touch.

“Are you the black cat, or am I?” Ash replied.

Eiji laughed. He rested his head on Ash’s shoulder, moving with his arm as he began to drive. “They mean well.”

“How’d you find it?” Ash asked. “Your first American college party.”

“Not like the movies.”

Ash paused. He could still taste the mulled wine on his tongue; spiced and sweet and enough to go to his head.

“Takeaway and slow dancing in the apartment?”

Eiji kissed his cheek.

“That sounds like a good Christmas party.”

[linagram]

[ 𝚂𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝙺𝚎𝚒'𝚜 𝚃𝟹 𝚅𝙳 ] 𝚁𝚘𝚜𝚎-𝚃𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝙼𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚢

the man himself!! i feel like kei's vd and mv are a little bit underwhelming compared to what the second pair had, but it was kinda intentional in a way. like yeah, he's fun and cool and already had a very dark past before milgram, but also.. he's just a guy. a very scared one too.

Warnings for Kei's VD: heavy implications of physical torture.

Warnings for Kei's MV: toxic relationship dynamics, violence and physical torture.

(sounds of footsteps)

Miki: So.. It's Kei-san's turn now.

Miki: "If Eiji-san doesn't join us now.. I don't think he will join us at all."

Hinode: He's.. quite an interesting prisoner, isn't he?

Hinode: I'm not sure if I should be scared or excited about being able to talk to him in person. 

Miki: But you have talked to each other even before this interrogation..

Hinode: Well, yes, but we haven't really talked about his crime, you know?

Hinode: In fact.. He really doesn't like to talk about his crime. Wonder why..

(the door opens)

Kei: Oh, you two are finally here! Hiiiii~

Kei: *sighs* It's so sad that my poor little brother is still not here with you.. But oh well, guess I can't do anything about that.

Miki: Um, Kei-san, this might be a weird question, but..

Miki: Are you sure you don't know anything about Eiji-san? Like.. Maybe you know where he is now? 

Miki: Or.. If he's even alive.

Kei: ...

Kei: Miki, sweetie, could you please not joke about that? 

Miki: T-this wasn't supposed to be a joke-

Kei: I'm sure Eiji is still alive! I mean.. He has to be alive.

Miki: But.. What if he's not? What if something happened to him? What if Milgram sees him as a failure now?..

Kei: Hm...

Kei: Well.. I'll just kill everyone here probably then. 

Miki and Hinode: ...

Kei: Hey, come on, you could've at least pretended to act more shocked!

Miki: Sorry. We already had two prisoners say that they will either kill everyone here or just kill Eiji-san, so.. 

Miki: You're not really that original.

Kei: .. Someone is planning to kill Eiji?

Miki: A-anyway, we're not here to talk about that. 

Miki: Kei-san.. Are you feeling better now that you've been voted innocent?

Kei: .. Ah, haha, yeah.. I'm definitely feeliing better now.

Kei: My body doesn't hurt as much anymore, there's a possibility that my eye injury will get better, I got this cool new outfit.. Yeah, life is going great.

Miki: I see.. That's good to hear.

Kei: But still.. I'm just a little curious about something.

Kei: So like.. Why innocent? Why have you changed your mind so suddenly?

Kei: Is it because of my video or something? Hey, can I watch it-

Miki: W-we still don't know if the prisoners can watch their videos and if they're allowed to do so.

Miki: But.. Your second video showed that your murder went.. Not like we expected.

Kei: .. What is that supposed to mean-

Hinode: It's like.. I'd say you looked more like a victim there, Kei-san.

Kei:!

Hinode: It's like, if we didn't know you're one of the prisoners, we'd probably think you were the one who got killed.

Miki: It.. really was painful to watch.

Miki: "I wonder what would Eiji-san think if he watched this video with us.."

Kei: .. I-I see, haha.. So, what do you think about my murder now? Have you like, figured it out yet?

Miki: Kei-san.. Why can't you just tell us about it?

Kei: Huh?

Miki: Some of the other prisoners are completely okay with talking about their crime, like Chiba-san or Yoshioka-san. Some of them refuse to tell us anything because they believe they were in the right and don't see it as a crime, like Maruyama-san. Some of them don't want to tell us anything because they possibly feel guilty or ashamed, like Yano-san. 

Miki: So I just want to know.. Which one of these are you? You're definitely not the first one, so..

Miki: And something is telling me you're the third type.

Kei: .. A-are you sure you're allowed to just talk about other prisoners and their crimes like that, haha-

Miki: Sorry, Kei-san, but I'm the guard here. And I believe I am allowed to do that.

Kei: Woah~ Haha, okay, okay, Guard 002-san, I won't ask any dumb questions anymore.

Miki: So.. Why don't you just tell us already? We know that you had five victims. All of them were women. They were somehow connected to your friends.

Miki: We already know all of that, so why don't you just confess already?!

Kei: ...

Hinode: Kei-san, is it okay for me to assume that you haven't killed them because of.. I don't know, you being sadistic or cruel or wanting to see them in pain?

Kei: .. Well.. 

Kei: *laughs* I don't know. I could tell you everything, but.. 

Kei: .. The truth is kinda lame, honestly. 

Miki: There you go. You're trying to avoid this topic again.

Miki: What are you so afraid of, Kei-san? Who cares if the truth is "lame"? Do you think we'll make fun of you or something?..

Kei: .. I don't know, Miki. I don't know. *laughs*

Kei: It's like.. All prisoners here are so cool. Like, you look at them and think "Wow.. Just what could have possibly made them commit murder"?

Kei: I'm pretty close with some of them, so I know some stuff about their crimes and it's like.. They're so scary, but also so cool.. Especially considering that some of them had love as their main motivation.

Kei: .. And I'm.. not like that at all, haha.

Hinode: I think you having five victims already makes your murder one of the scariest ones, if it makes you feel any better.

Kei: Hmm.. Well, my motive kinda sucks. 

Kei: And like.. How I did it. 

Kei: T-to be honest, sometimes I just.. Sometimes I'm not even sure if I was the one who murdered them.

Miki: What?

Kei: B-but never mind, haha.. So, uh, I guess I should tell you something, right?

Kei: So, like..  What do you even want to know?

(sounds of Miki standing up and putting her hands on the table)

Miki: Everything. Tell us everything.

Hinode: Miki-san, I think we should be more specific.

Hinode: For example.. Your motive, Kei-san. Why did you kill those women?

Kei: .. Well..

Kei: Ah, how about we turn this into a game? Come on, guys, try to guess why I killed them!

Miki: Ugh.. I-I don't know, maybe because of jealousy or something? 

Kei: You think I wanted to date all of them?

Miki: Again, I said that I don't know!

Hinode: They found out something they weren't supposed to?

Kei: ...

Kei: Haha.. Wow, looks like we have a winner here~ I'll give you the prize later.

Kei: But like.. How did you-

Hinode: I just guessed, but also.. There was this scene in your video where one of the women found some photographs and..

Hinode: You got really nervous after that.

Kei: .. Ahaha.. You even saw that too?

Miki: What was on those photographs? 

Miki: "It really must've been something truly terrifying to make even Kei-san feel that way.."

Kei: Oh, just some people getting tortured. Like, their fingers being cut off or them losing their eyes or-

Miki: .. But we already knew that you, um..

Miki: Well, took pictures of those people.

Kei: That's because I've told you about it. I'm literally in a prison now, like who cares if I have a job like that, all prisoners here are literally murderers, like who cares!

Kei: But outside Milgram.. life is much harder for someone like me.

Kei: So, like.. I've never told anyone about it except my family. Because, well, it's still a crime, obviously, and I have a reputation to protect.

Kei: Like, imagine if a guy who took photographs for your favorite fashion magazine turned out to be also doing something like that. People would go wild and not in a good way.

Miki: So.. You killed them only because of that?

Miki: "I don't want to say it's lame, but.. I really expected more from his crime.."

Kei: No, no, it doesn't stop there.

Kei: So, um.. They didn't just get scared or something. They were sure I would do the same to them and that's why I invited them to my house.

Miki: Oh..

Kei: No, no, don't get me wrong, I really was going to kill them anyway. Like, I really did invite them just to kill them.

Miki: "Never mind, he's still bad."

Hinode: But.. Why? Why did you plan to kill them?

Kei: That's a story for another time. Who knows, maybe you'll see it in my video.

Kei: And, um.. They kinda.. Tried to defend themselves.

Kei: And they, uh.. Got a bit too.. How do I say it?.. Like, girls really did not have to do all that, haha.

Miki: This.. might be a strange theory, but..

Miki: Kei-san, have they also tried to torture you? You know.. Like maybe they wanted to get back at you? Maybe they wanted you to feel the same pain?

Miki: I'm assuming that would be quite easy for them to do, since, you know..

Miki: You'd have to deal with five angry and scared women all alone.

Kei:  ...

Kei: T-they..

(sounds of Kei struggling to breathe and talk)

Miki: Kei-san, is everything okay?!

Hinode: Looks like you were right, Miki-san.

Miki: B-but how do we help him?!

(sounds of Miki quickly walking up to Kei and something falling on the floor)

Hinode: Ah, Miki-san, you should be more careful.

(sounds of Hinode standing up)

Miki: Huh? D-did I drop something-

Hinode: No, it's okay, I'll get it.

Hinode: It's the memory machine-

Hinode: Huh?

(sounds of something being crushed)

Miki: ...

Hinode: ...

Kei: Oh, actually, I suddenly feel much better now.

Miki: Kei-san..

Miki: .. Did you just step on the memory machine and-

Kei: It's much smaller than I imagined it to be. And breaks so easily too..

Miki: .. What have you done?

(sound of a screen being turned on)

Eiji: WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE?!

Hinode: Wait, is that-

Miki: EIJI-SAN?!

Kei: Told you, obviously he's still alive. So good to finally see you, little brother~

Eiji: KEI, I WILL RIP YOUR ORGANS OUT WHEN WE GET TO TALK IN PERSON, JUST YOU WAIT!

Hinode: Wait, wait, let's calm down here. Eiji-san, what is going on? Did Kei-san do something wrong?

Hinode: Well, not counting him breaking the memory machine..

Eiji: Oh, he definitely did something wrong. 

Eiji: Kei, just a quick little question.

Eiji: What did you do to the cameras? I can no longer see anyone or anything. It's all just black screens. 

Eiji: And I clearly remember seeing you before the cameras started acting weird. 

Eiji: It's like you were just.. standing there. Waiting for something or someone.

Kei: Hmm, but what if it wasn't me, Eiji? Also, I'm sure Milgram would have its cameras hidden from the prisoners, so..

Eiji: How about you ask another prisoner about it? You know, the one you're particularly close with.

Eiji: Also, don't act like you haven't done the same thing before. Just some black spray paint would do the trick.

Kei: .. Haha..

(bell rings, machinery sounds)

Hinode: It's time, Miki-san. And, uh, Eiji-san.

Hinode: We should have expected you to show up for your brother's interrogation, haha.

Eiji: Shut up. 

Kei: So, you're going to watch the third video already, huh?

Kei: Well, I'm ready. But also, please make sure to watch it closely, okay?

Kei: Because I'm not planning to talk about my crime ever again.

Hinode: We will try our best, Kei-san.

Hinode: Admitting that you became a victim of torture yourself must be quite hard for someone like you.

Kei: .. Hey, Hinode, please don't forget to come to my cell and take the prize I promised, okay?

Hinode: Haha, don't worry, I won't. I'm sure you will prepare something amazing for me.

Eiji: You really saw a guard that wasn't your brother or a highschooler and decided to immediately take your chance, huh?

Hinode: What's that supposed to mean, Eiji-san?

Kei: Don't think too much about it-

Miki: WHY CAN'T YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP ALREADY?!

Miki: THE MEMORY MACHINE IS BROKEN, THE CAMERAS ARE BROKEN, WE STILL DON'T KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT THIS GUY'S CRIME AND HE'S REFUSING TO TELL US MORE AND IT'S THE LAST TRIAL! 

Miki: KEI-SAN! STOP GIVING HINODE-SAN THAT LOOK AND TURN BACK TO ME RIGHT NOW!

Kei: .. Power trip is hitting you hard, Miki.

Miki: Nobody asked.

Miki: Prisoner 005, Kei, sing all of your sins!

42% ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░░░ 100%

[ Kei's Trial 3 MV: Love=Pain ]

It looks like Kei is getting ready for a photo shoot. He still has his pink sunglasses, but he's mostly wearing purple and he has this creepy and suspicious smile on his face. The door opens and his model finally walks in. 

"Well, hello there, nice to meet you

The most beautiful piece of art I've ever seen

Come on, don't feel jealous, I only have eyes for you

So like, can we get started already?"

The model turns out to be Kei as well and this Kei is mostly wearing blue and he doesn't look thrilled to be here. He doesn't like the way the photographer!Kei is staring at him, but he just sighs and gets ready to pose.

Suddenly, we see model!Kei wearing a surprisingly casual and even "normal" outfit (not counting the fact that he has an anime girl print on his hoodie) and he looks very anxious and he keeps looking away. Photographer!Kei rolls his eyes, looking annoyed. Model!Kei is wearing a beautiful black dress and a black hat now and he looks much more confident now and he even winks at Photographer!Kei. The latter, however, looks terrified and he shakes his head. 

"So what do you want me to do? What do you want me to be?

I can be someone who will give you all the love you need and more

I can be someone who will turn your life into an even bigger mess

So what do you want? What do you need? Give me a sign"

Model!Kei sighs again. Photographer!Kei asks someone to come closer and that someone turns out to be Ruka. Ruka listens to photographer!Kei, nods and walks to model!Kei. Model!Kei is visibly sweating and seems to be very nervous, meanwhile Ruka still looks emotionless.

"Ah, I understand now, my love is nothing but a show

My love is supposed to be all soft and cute and "acceptable"

When will it be okay for me to show how IMPERFECT my love is?

When will they finally see my existence as "acceptable"?"

We see photographer!Kei taking pictures of Ruka sitting on model!Kei's lap, model!Kei hugging him, them talking about something, laughing and overall having fun. However, photographer!Kei doesn't look satisfied and he looks model!Kei in the eyes. Model!Kei realizes something and he slowly nods and gets up. 

"My love means nothing, if it doesn't make you cry

I don't want the kind of love that doesn't hurt me

"Play it safe"? Nah, that's not for me

Now can I get praised for being everyone's PERFECT lover?"

Now, we see model!Kei torturing and hurting Ruka in various ways. At first it doesn't look that bad, in some pictures he's just cutting his hair, but eventually it gets worse and model!Kei starts beating him, choking him and breaking his arms. Photographer!Kei is having much more fun now and he seems to really like these pictures. Model!Kei looks very uncomfortable, but then Ruka walks up to him and gives him a genuine smile for a moment. Model!Kei calms down, smiles back and continues to work.

"I am so much more than this

More than my works, my image, my reputation

You're in pain? Well, I'm in pain too

So can we at least suffer together, please?"

In the middle of it, model!Kei suddenly falls on top of Ruka and he looks worried at first and he tries to apologize, but Ruka doesn't seem to mind and simply pokes model!Kei's cheek. Model!Kei laughs and Ruka smiles again, but when model!Kei turns to photographer!Kei, his face expression immediately changes to a shocked one as he sees that it's not Kei who is taking pictures of them now, but his friends. His friends look really scared and model!Kei gets up and tries to explain the situation, but it's too late and some of his friends run away, some of them look at him with a disappointed expression and some of them punch him, slap him and they overall seem to be more angry rather than scared.

"Come on, why would you betray me like this?

You're the only thing that's stopping my life from being PERFECT

So like, love me, love me, love me, please!

I can still be your beautiful mess, just give me a chance!"

We see model!Kei lying on the floor. The room is completely empty and Ruka is gone. The door opens and model!Kei looks hopeful for a second, but then he sees that it's not Ruka or his friends or photographer!Kei. 

It's his friends' girlfriends.

They start to take pictures of him too and now those pictures show model!Kei getting tortured in the exact same ways he tortured Ruka, but we can't see who exactly is doing that to him. Almost all women look emotionless about it and have rather serious expressions, but one of them is looking away, showing that she doesn't approve what they're doing and she doesn't want to join them. 

"This is it, this is my punishment

The hunter became the prey or at least that's what they say

But my love means nothing if it doesn't make me cry

So I'll cry, I'll cry a lot, just say that you love me too, alright?"

The pictures start to get more and more blurry until it's hard to say if it's even Kei who is getting tortured. Finally, one of the pictures shows a woman getting smothered with a pillow. The next one shows a woman getting choked with a rope. The third one shows a woman covered in knife wounds. The fourth one shows a woman lying on the floor with many glass shards around her. 

We can see someone showing the fifth picture to model!Kei and we can't see what's going on in the picture, but the picture seems to be wet, like it fell in the water. 

"You did it, you did this for me

Your love means everything to me now

Oh no, oh no, I'm in so much pain

So like, can you kiss it better or something?"

Someone is still taking pictures of model!Kei as he's looking at it and then he drops it, smiles as more and more pictures get taken and suddenly pulls out a gun. The last picture shows nothing but blood on the wall that is the same image color as Kei's. 

"Actually don't, I kinda like it"

The video ends.

[yaoitrio]

hannigram x eijouji au

okay back onto eijouji-hannigram dynamics i think the main difficulty here in describing their relationship would be the fact that they have completely different themes and relationship. hannibal and will corrupted each other in a way that was completely hedonistic, and for hannibal he was selfish, and completely changed each other. tdlr: unhealthy. it was understanding each other like nobody else could because their relationship was an almalgamation of each other: they melded into one another. they couldn't remain individuals - in a way they become one. very much so. especially with will already having problems with hyperempathy, and hannibal purposefully triggering those issues, it was purposeful in trying to bond to each other in any way possible. kind of like desperation - or i guess in my mind, more akin to a test. he was testing will. but either way it wasn't normal, it wasn't natural, and it wasn't .. right. it was artificial. more akin to putting superglue on your hand and then holding someone elses hand and it's like Well at least i didn't turn us into human centipede 3. basically it was forced. whereas eijouij Well they still have issues. i don't think i really know their characters too well just for the sake of not necessarily knowing them too well but i think one of their main conflicts is the fact that they both avoid Well. They both avoid conflict /lh very much so. they are very avoidant in my head. they're kind of doomed yaoi in my head but not in a tragic way kind of like self-imposed. so kind of tragicbut like not narratively in my mind because the narratives that they're gay as hell but rather by themselves. basically, go to couples therapy. No. anyway but i think a lot of it comes out of

obviously, insecurity.

a sense of fear (ie., i am going to hurt this person if i interact with them/they will hurt me if i talk to them)

and 3. their own instinct to, seemingly, avoid their own desires.

i think eiji puts up a front of being more selfish than they really are? i think a lot of it is just a facade. genuinely. because when given an actual, true wish - whether it be companionship, a queerplatonic relationship, etc. - they don't take it. they don't. they push it away. they try to find some sort of reason to push it away or find an excuse to not take the opportunity. HERE'S THE THING THOUGH. i think people tend to conflate this behaviour with self-sacrifice or it being self-sacrificial, and in a way that it is, but i think the motive behind eiji doing this isn't particularly... that. i think it's fear. i think it is very much avoidance of hurt. 

eiji's main thing to me is that they are Where was i going with this. OH. and this isn't necessarily cowardice either i think it is genuinely just eiji's way of protecting themselves. eiji is ... in my mind he can be a bit haughty in a way. they prance, they hold themselves tall, and most importantly they are constantly, constantly bluffing. eiji puts on a show, not because he likes to entertain (even if that may be a reason) or because they like the attention (even if that is a component), but because he is afraid if he doesn't they will pierce through that thinly spread out veil that hides him from scrutiny. this 'mask' is easily shattered, it hides him from the criticism he receives. it's not truly him, it's an act. it's not truly him that they talk about, because that's not him. they don't know him - not *really.*

though the issue with this here is that i think that you've mentioned components of eiji that haven't exactly come to light juuust yet as the rpg hasn't started + the main interactions so far have just been variations of yaoi trio (i think?) which are just people that eiji likes. so those more .. not necessarily 'baser' but more 'guttural' reactions have yet to come out. i don't think eiji is the type of person that bites the hand that feeds. kind to him, kind to you. well maybe not always but their actions are not necessarily malicious to people who he's emotionally attached to? i think? >/? ? ?? ? ? ? ??

whereas with jouji Actually i haven't tohught that much about jouji. jouji who is in my brain. actually i can do something with this. 

jouji is a bit of a blank slate in my mind. a bit of an impenetrable wall. can't get in, can't get out. they're a bit ... emotionally repressed i think. /lh they got issues, man! i don't think that they're a misanthropist, even if they hold some distaste to their peers? if that's what it is. i'm not really sure i don't think i have too good of a grasp on jouji, so i can't necessarily tell if what they feel is dislike, disconnection, or genuine annoyance and irritation towards the people around them. or if it's apathy. i think it's a bit more disconnection/apathy for them though.

and i think this kind of comes with their job - i think to work with the dead is a sensitive issue, it has to come with respect - it *has* to, but i also think that you have to compartmentalize a lot to do maintain graves, to maintain the dead. i think they care .. even if it isn't that much, or if they even can. in my head jouji has some empathy issues (autism). and it also doesn't help that (I'M NOT sure if this was on sydney's end as well or if the creation of angelics was directly tied to my own interpretation) that they're an angelic. there is a standard set in stone for them, as angelics as a while, it is directly tied to their being. there are rules, unspoken rules, that you do not harm your neighbour; you don't kill, you don't harm, you don't hurt. you must be moral, because that is your being. if you don't, you ruin who you are. you ruin your 'purity,' and it's shown to the world. actually the idea of angelics is actually kind of interesting with presentation and how society approaches the 'sins' of angelics - if they really are *sins.* i'll talk about this later because i think the way society interprets this group of people is fun & how people interpret other groups of people, and how they classify them, and blah blah blah sociology is interesting to me. this is kind of getting irrelevant to jouji character study. 

*buuut,* to me jouji has firm rules and guidelines set in place for them. they have a moral code. they kind of fit into this ideal of an angelic because when you break it down, what angelics do and what their fundamentals are seen in their society, is that they are supposed to be harbingers of morality. that's why they are 'punished' by broken halos, black wings. it is a sign that they have hurt, and it is kind of punishment in a way - it permanently alters them. it changes them as a person, fundamentally. they lose a sense of autonomy in that regard? they don't *get* a choice as to whether or not their crimes are shown to world. whereas every other species has the choice of wearing it on their sleeves, angelics *don't.* i think there is some symbolism here that i can touch on but that is a little unimportant. especially with the idea of being 'broken,' being 'blackened' – it can be seen as 'going against their nature,' being punished for it. i think i already kind of touched on that aspect though. This is so interesting ik i said i was going to make a different thing for this but i'm so curious what the societal image and reputation of angelic sinners are. it's so so cool to me.. ANYEWAY BACK ONTO JOUJI.

jouji focuses very heavily on this creed that they've made up. i think it was done as a joke a few times but * BEAMS * i am the crazy bitch that reads into every last detail i don't care that it isn't relevant to the story **ITS FORESHADOWING TO ME.** jouij focuses heavily on their creed, their rules, their code of conduct. when something doesn't fit into those predetermined rules, they don't .. exactly know how to respond. they are incredibly, incredibly avoidant to acting on 'sin'  or what they consider sin to the point of ruminating on it a lot. that trifecta of going by the book, avoidance of the unknown, and a fear of sin is what i think leads them to their isolationist behaviour. 

 which also leads into their job as a sexton. you don't really have to interact with people and when you do,. Well. They're in a coffin. and with a job kind of steeped in grief (and depending on how the person died, steeped in sin) there is bound to be some stigma with the job because who would *willingly* do this? why would you *want* to surround your suffering? i think it depends on the viewpoint but considering we live in a medieval, japanese-inspired (and therefore) fantasy world i think it would make sense that considering jouji Would be a part of the untouchable class (i think?) there's going to be a correlation with their role in sending people to the afterlife and people finding being hostile towards jouji, even if it isn't necessarily reciprocated. especially since it's easy to get upset with people when there's grief. it's the easiest thing *to* do. i'm not sure if this is what you were going for this is just in my * raps on my skull * up in me noggin.

and also on a more meta level: *jouji is more isolated from society than most other characters* whereas a lot of the ocs in ukishima have some form, or relation to people, their bond to the rest of society only comes after you're dead. like their role in your life comes after you've croaked. they are intrinsically tied to the dead. 

and then going back to my original point of eijouji: these twos relationship with each other is bound to be strained just because of how each of them views the world & how they go about living in the world. as a tdlr for both of these two, both of them are avoidant in their own ways. 

jouji is more apathetic, dismissive, and generally *retreats* from society.

eiji is more cynical (in my mind, they can be cruel and mean - i think you've said this IF YOU RETCONNED THIS IGNORE ME. but with taunting and the like i think), haughty and where jouji steps backwards, they push *forward.* they will be forceful to put himself in a position where *he will not be hurt.*

every time eiji takes a step forward, jouji walks backwards. it's like they are constantly walking towards the end of the line, or rather, they're treading it. then, i think, when jouji finally makes an effort to begin walking towards eiji it's like he can sense that dynamic shift and that *fear* of getting hurt, that fear of the unknown variables, and eiji doesn't just start walking back he runs away. he flees. i think. in my head * raps on my knoggin and does a jig *

[http-eiji]

Hello good day. Can i ask where to read manga of banana fish. Is their posibility have season 2. Its so painful watching this i cant accept ash died he deserve to be happy with eiji. In manga have a garden of light there. Why not in anime dont have episodethank you..

I've not read the manga in a very long time so I'm not sure where to read it online.

So let's talk about why Banana Fish is never getting a season 2 and why they didn't animate the epilogue chapter.

Banana Fish won't be getting a season 2 because the manga is over and they adapted (nearly) everything. The closest we could get is if a studio ever adapted Yasha. Yasha is another manga by Akimi Yoshida following an entirely different set of characters years after the events of Banana Fish. Sing is featured, Yut-Lung is mentioned and Ash gets hinted at.

If you want more Banana Fish content, there's plenty of side content. There's Private Opinion, Angel Eyes, and Fly Boy in The Sky, which are all set prior to the events of Banana Fish. There's also New York Sense which is an album/art book of all the pictures Eiji took during and after Banana Fish (even spanning after the epilogue chapter, Garden of Light).

Garden of Light was published in the final volume of Banana Fish. It's set 7 years after Banana Fish and follows Akira, Ibe's niece, who comes to stay with Eiji in his home in New York as he's preparing to launch his photo exhibition.

Originally, many in the fandom thought we'd get a GOL OVA. This never happened and, now 4 years on, almost definitely never will.

IIf I had to guess why GOL never got animated, I'd say it was because of:

1) Time constraints

It's impressive that MAPPA managed to adapt a 19-volume manga into a 24-episode show. They were already having to cut and rush through things.

2) Wanting to keep the ending open to interpretation

The anime clearly wanted to keep the ending more "open." Whilst many will say that Ash dying is obvious in the anime too, it technically was never confirmed in the anime. After every episode aired, there was a little relationship chart showing who was alive, who was dead, and what everyone's connections to each other were. After episode 24 aired, the relationship chart changed several times. This wasn't usual. Normally, a new, updated chart would be released, and that was that. This chart originally showed Ash as dead, but later it showed that maybe he was alive. 

(You can read the relationship chart here and all the changes made over the course of several hours after the final episode aired.)

Why would the anime do this? 

It could be for marketing reasons. For example, after the show aired, people would look at newly released official art and speculate if it showed a post-canon Ash and Eiji together. It could be that someone on the team wanted to change the ending but couldn't because they weren't allowed to. They may have thought it would be better because this is such an old manga and it had never had an anime adaptation before then. So it wasn't important to do the story justice. 

I really don't know the real reason, so this is purely speculation.

[waiting-on-a-dream]

My thoughts on the Linagram characters

@linagram Here it is~! I hope you don't mind the wait.

Akio ♡

First of all, I love him as a character! His motive for killing, his follower and even his victim really tells you a lot about the kind of person he is. His personality is snappy with an undertone of sadness (that will surely be more obvious in t2), and I'm interested to find out about why he's so focused on studying.

I personally think that when two characters have a complex and developed relationship, it automatically makes them shine in their own right as well. You can't make two bland characters have an interesting relationship. Admittedly, half of Akio's appeal for me comes from Arata, haha. I want to study them like lab rats.

I wouldn't talk to someone like Akio irl though. He would intimidate me.

Akhsjsksjsjhsudsgss Akio seems like the type to like being carried around (even in a handbag). I can imagine him secretly enjoying it as a chibi. With how much he likes to act like a king, I think he'd like to be carried around like one too. Or maybe he'd prefer certain people carrying him around instead? 👀

Aimi ♡

I love, love, love her character design! Her gradient eyes have captivated me and seeing her in her oversized uniform makes me want to give her a big hug. Those bandages do a good job of making her look sympathetic too, like a kicked puppy in need of love.

I love her, but all the unknown factors of her crime scare me a lot. I'm not good at analyzing stuff, so I'm mostly worried about the accomplice/friend she had before the whole murdering happened. We don't even know who her victim was, or if she even killed them herself. Her crime is turning out to be not as easy as I thought it was. A very Muu move to pull, good for her.

I'm a little nervous to see her again for t2, because she probably won't stay friends with Akane for long. If it turns out that her murder wasn't sympathetic and she's actually a "bad" person, Akane wouldn't want to associate with her anymore. But they're so cute together. :(

Shun ♡

His whole stuttering thing and memory problems would probably weird me out irl honestly. He's interesting as a character tho!

His quirks are really interesting, but there's only so much I can say about him tbh. Shun is a really unreliable narrator, so I don't actually know much about him or his murder? I'm pretty sure I can't forgive him regardless. He's giving me all sorts of bad vibes. Who knows? Maybe he's killed more than a few people.

Naomi ♡

She doesn't have a good relationship with her parents, so I suspect she hasn't had the best history. I do wonder what her victim did to make her so angry that she would resort to killing him though. I don't think she ever mentioned what he did, just that some kids can be more evil than adults. She doesn't like kids now, but still wants to be voted guilty for her crime. She seems torn over how to feel.

At first I thought her personality would be similar to Mayumi, but she seems closer to Noa actually. I'm getting the vibes that she isn't as nice as she seems actually. Like a reluctant older sister figure that would rather not be here at all. /lh

Can't wait to learn more about her backstory in t2! Her reaction to being voted innocent scared me quite a bit actually. I wonder what kind of character development she'll get.

Kei ♡

He such an interesting and fun character, I love everything I read about him! Watching him interact with Eiji is such a treat. Its interesting to see him get under Eiji's skin with such unnervingly accurate remarks. They're obviously incredibly dysfunctional, but I have a feeling they both still love each other in their Sanada family twisted way. I eagerly await more Sanada family lore!

I think he's the kind of character that works better in a dynamic because you get to see just how twisted he is when he's with someone else? Like, him and Eiji, him and Ruka, him and his mom that loves him so much. Him, Eiko and Shun too!

Since he's always giving off the impression that he's happy and having fun in Milgram, I'm looking forward to seeing his little meow meow side in t2 asjdskdskdjkdsk He and Daisuke are quite alike.

Eiko ♡

Um, yeah, I don't much to say about her. Her family background is intriguing, but something about her personality just makes her forgettable to me? She reminds me of Yuno, and I don't like Yuno all that much. Her careless attitude but high expectations kind of annoy me. Do you care or not?

Also, based on what we know of her crime so far, it seems as though she killed someone she was talking to online because he lied about who he was to her? The murder method is gruesome, but the actual motive is quite boring for me. Hopefully t2 will bring me more juicy details about her crime. Or more lore to let me understand her better.

Asahi ♡

I love his design soooo much <3 He's a lil purple boi with crown shaped pupils, how could I not like him? His fancy clothes are really cute too! It shows the difference between the more upper class life he had with his adoptive parents compared to the life with his dad.

He's very much a brat, but I can also tell that he's really scared and doesn't know what to do. His prickly attitude is probably similar to Akane's, where they both lash out in order to protect themselves. He still addresses everyone older than him politely though, so that's a really cute detail. I wonder where he learned to do that from?

Yes, he's a horrible person. Yes, he's never done anything wrong with his life. Asahi, an 11 year old murderer, exists. The main theory now is that he killed his adoptive mother by putting something she's allergic to in her food, and we don't quite know why he wanted to kill her yet, but he's obviously traumatized and trying to compensate for the hurt he suffered in the past. His relationship with his imaginary mom isn't the most reassuring coping mechanism either.

I think if he were ever to get out of Milgram alive, there's a chance he could heal and change for the better with the right guidance. He's still a child after all. I wonder if he feels guilty about his murder.

Yurika ♡

Eiko and Yurika are your ocs that I often forget about, haha. They're just not the type of characters that I pay attention to. I will say that they're very well written though! Yurika's fear of growing up and having to be independent is a nice touch.

Her crime is really hard to pin down, and the contradicting evidence isn't helping much. But I have the feeling that her crimes aren't as complicated as her first MV makes them out to be. The switching of POVs and shaky timeline does a good job of confusing me, but the actual murdering bit probably won't be that hard to understand.

Yurika keeps saying that she killed her victims out of self-defense, but her motive for killing them seems to be more of them knowing too much about her. Also, her manager was most definitely manipulating her into doing some dirty work, so there's that. Although I sympathize with her struggles, she is an adult and should be able to handle her problems without resorting to murder, whatever they may be.

Riku ♡

He has the best hair out of all your ocs, hands down. The rings on his fingers really give him a cool look too!

Now, he's really babygirl and I love his personality (bb please stop hurting yourself). Its not that I think that he was in the right to kill his friend, but I can understand his motive behind doing it. His mental state is also in shambles, even from before he was brought to Milgram, so he obviously has some serious issues he's trying to cope with.

I don't think he's the type to kill again if he makes it out of Milgram. Perhaps with the proper support, he can learn to take care of himself. But this is Milgram and Lina /lh we're talking about, so things can never be easy. Can't wait to see what kind of character development he'll get after being voted innocent!

Reina ♡

Okay, its not that I really dislike Reina, its just that her "I'm an evil serial killer" act annoys me. Someone claiming they didn't kill anyone or that their murder was an accident I can understand, but claiming that you have over 50 victims? Really? I also think that she's trying really hard to make herself look guilty so that her friends can be spared, which annoys me as well.

I am curious about how and why she ended up bullying others with her friends though. Did she feel pressured to go along with it when they did it as a group? Or was she more active in her decision making? She had a fight with someone over her behavior too, which sets up an exciting story to find out about in t2.

I find her annoying for now, but she's still quite the interesting character! She's going to get violent in t2 in order to make the guards vote her guilty too, so I can admire her determination at least.

Eiji ♡

I love him so much, he's so funky and such a sadistic guard its refreshing in a weird way. Sometimes he gets so excited about punishing the prisoners, it seems as though he doesn't care that much about judging them as much as getting to punish them. There are also times when he decides on someone's verdict based on his personal feelings, like when he wanted to vote Haku guilty because the guy has a good relationship with his brother asdjksdskdjsks In comparison, Es doesn't remember his life before Milgram, so he can't do that.

His relationships with just about everyone he's interacted with is so interesting!!! Especially whatever he has going on with Kei. His friendship with Miki shows promising potential too. If I had enough braincells and ability to string my thoughts together neatly, I could write whole analyses about their relationships but alas.

I am interested in knowing how Eiji would treat someone outside of Milgram though. Like, his normal life in the outside world before he was made a warden in Milgram. I get the feeling that he isn't as aggressive compared to the way he acts as a warden.

Also, the idea of having siblings in Milgram is so cool!! Even better that one is a prisoner and one is guard, and THEY'RE BOTH twisted in their own ways. Its really intriguing how Kei reveals a lot about Eiji's true feelings when they interact, but Eiji isn't able to say much about Kei that we don't already know. ITS SO- GRFSNDISSDJSSK

Miki ♡

YO we have a bingo!!!!!

She's very cute, I love her pink pigtails!! Her personality is so complex and well-developed too! At first glance, you'd think she's just idealistic and naïve. But then she turns out to be struggling with strong feelings of guilt from her past and more manipulative than expected. Wow.

Her relationships with the prisoners are fun, and her changing friendship with Eiji is sooooooooooooo good!! Her seemingly gentle personality really shines through when she interacts with others. And based on the different personalities she interacts with, we get to see a new side of her that we don't normally see too.

Her development for t2 is really exciting! I can't wait to see how far she can take her newfound god complex. And how different she'll be treating Asahi now that she knows he's related to her.

[linalilia]

Can you believe that its been a year since we played this bingo game? Time flies, huh? Anyway, I was thinking that I could tell you my in-depth opinions of your Milgram ocs (and vice versa) before we move onto trial 2! Then we can come back to this and compare how our opinions of each others' ocs have changed. :D If that's okay with you, of course! Please don't feel pressured to do it if you don't want to!

I'll make a post about my thoughts on your Milgram ocs separately. Don't want to put such long ramblings in your ask box, haha. Look forward to it!

OHHH YEAH I REMEMBER THAT it's really been a year, huh.. and sure, i'd love to do that! sounds very fun <3

and speaking of trial 2, i'm not sure if i'll be able to post stuff like album covers and everyone's designs this month (maybe i'll post a pre-t2 voice drama or two though), because of irl things and i still have a lot of art to work on, but i already know how everyone will act and i have everyone's song titles and trailer voicelines ready and. yeah my ocs' t2 versions will act so different from their t1 versions 😭

anyway, here's what i think about your milgram ocs!

HARUTO >>>> no really i love him a lot! his design is so 💕💖💞💓💗 he sure is a pretty boy! he's very fun to draw and i like how he actually looks like a guard in that picrew!

now, about his personality. i love how chill and relaxed he is, his personality is like a nice break from those guards who take their job much more seriously (*ahem* es, eiji and miki). it's really cool how he understands that all of this is some kind of experiment too, because again, those guards believe that milgram is always right no matter what and never (or rarely) question it. i find very interesting how he's so unpredictable, but his verdicts also sound.. reasonable? (well, if we're talking about the canon ones) like he doesn't jump to conclusions and also his decisions are understandable. and it feels refreshing to see a character who's an amnesiac, but doesn't really care about his memories and who he really is. i have this theory that haruto was, like, a completely average person and his memories really aren't that important, but maybe he was "chill" in a different way, like maybe he was just very apathetic? maybe that's why he has a feeling that his memories don't really matter? i'm very excited to see him in season 2! maybe he will get some character development?

ichiro!! my son!! my blorbo!! i would be terrified of him irl but i still relate to him a completely normal amount okay, okay, gonna be honest, i didn't know what to do with him when you posted his poll, like, at the same time i don't think forgiving him is the best decision, but also.. it's complicated, like, i think i need more info about him and his crime.

i love how he just goes with the flow and doesn't really care about anything and the fact that he likes to draw makes him even more cute <3 his mood swings make him more realistic too, like he's not just -_- most of the time, like he's actually a very emotional person!

about the "part of a dynamic" part, i just think that even though ichiro's personality is what makes him unique, when it's just him, there's not much to talk about, i guess? like i think his personality truly stands out when he's interacting with someone else. i still like him a lot though!

akane!! i don't have much to say about her, but i really do think she's innocent, at least right now, and as i've said before, i thought that an innocent verdict could "calm her down" and make her open up a bit more, also i just don't think her crime was that bad, like i think you said it was self-defense in some way? even if it wasn't, i really don't think that akane is a type of person who would kill someone for no reason at all and i trust her. also i really like her cuter tsundere side too, hehe <3 i would still find her intimidating irl though.

also i really like the parallels between ichiro and akane, like, the first one still acts like a small child, meanwhile the other one is more mature (even though she doesn't seem like it at first?), it's like.. both of them are coping in a different way, i guess? makes me think about haruka and yuno too.

it's daisuke's turn! I WANT TO BITE HIM DJFHKSDKSLLS /pos. okay, he's another milgram oc of yours that i would be too scared to talk to irl i'm just a scaredy cat okay but i really do think he's innocent, again, at least right now, like i don't care about his job, you know, do what you gotta do, and when it comes to his crime.. idk, i'm really getting innocent vibes. like, if he regrets it, that's enough for me to forgive him. and come on, his poor little meow meow energy is so strong! you've also mentioned that he's suffering from survivor's guilt which is.. interesting. i really don't have any theories right now and i'll need more info to understand his crime better, but i'm excited to find out more about him! also all the women rejecting him is so funny HDHSKSKSKKD he's such a loser /affectionate

i think you've said that suzume is that one oc you've struggled with the most and tbh i think i can see that? not in a bad way, of course, it's just.. she kinda has that energy, like, she was added later than everyone else, i guess? like at the same time i really like her but i don't have that much to say about her? i do have my theories though and also her mv is one of my favorites! really wanna draw something based on it when i have the time, hehe.

i LOVE her design though, she's so pretty 💖💖 she kinda has that "third sanada sibling" vibe /j about the "didn't get enough screentime" part, i just.. it's like i can't really understand her personality, i guess? like i remember reading her profile and her voice drama and still going "WHO ARE YOU" JDJKDKSLDKS. like, i can describe everyone else's personality traits, but when it comes to suzume, i'm like ".. uhhh her mv has pretty crystals :D" AND THAT'S NOT EVEN A PERSONALITY TRAIT. that interaction with shun has helped me understand her a bit better though! (also help i've finished working on shun's mv description recently and now i'm looking at the shun x suzume part like. are you sure you'd be okay with a bf like that suzume. are you sure) i also have a habit to call her suzu whenever i think about her or talk about her out loud skdksdls please don't mind me i talk to myself way too often

. i am going to be honest with you, i genuinely forget that haku exists sometimes AND I DON'T KNOW WHY 😭 like i really love his design, i think he's very (unintentionally) funny, his mv also makes me THINK, but also. i don't know why, he's just so forgettable djsdjksksl?? like, whenever i feel like i forgot one of your ocs, my brain goes "you know. the one who has a brother" and i'm like "OHHHHHHH", like the piano part isn't even the first thing i think about??

again. i would be too scared of him to talk to him if i ever met haku irl. i can't describe it, it's just.. the vibes are weird. like i voted him innocent, mostly because i just felt like it would be weird for me to vote him guilty when i don't even know anything about his crime *insert kei's 100% guilty rate joke here* also. i might be wrong and i won't be surprised if i am wrong, but. is it just me or haku's brother's vibes are weird too. like i don't wanna say he manipulated him or something but like. i feel like there is a reason why haku was so loyal to him and it's not necessarily "oh, you know, they are family, they're very close and all", i feel like it goes deeper than that and it's actually darker. i may be overthinking it though.

YUI!!! one of my faves, honestly. probably because i had a long idol/music games and anime phase. i love her design a lot, she's very pretty!! she's such an interesting character too, because like.. at the same time the fact that she refuses to admit the fact that she's a murderer annoys me a bit also come on her milgram cover is inmf, but also i kinda believe her? like maybe it wasn't an accident, but an indirect murder? like she really was the reason why her victim died, but it's not like, you know, she did it with her own hands. that would be so embarrassing though, like she's really not doing well because of her guilty verdict right now and then it turns out that it really was an accident 😭 very excited to see her go crazy <3

listen. again. sorry for mentioning their designs all the time, i'm that kind of person who cares a lot about the visuals, but i really like rin's design! he's very cute!

(also a note: i actually can imagine all your ocs as milgram characters? like they have the perfect designs for that, i think. like they're not too bright and colorful, but they're still easy to remember and i think that's cool and they fit the whole milgram aesthetic really well! like, i wanted to try and draw my ocs in milgram art style, but i kinda gave up because i couldn't imagine them actually looking like milgram characters at all djdkslsl)

but when it comes to his other traits.. i really don't have much to say? like seriously, if i had a chance to talk to him, i would just go "get over it" sjhskaslsls. i have no idea what that girl did, like maybe she started dating someone or simply spending more time with someone, but come on, dude, get up, this is embarrassing. him being the youngest prisoner doesn't help his case either, like i can't take his crime seriously at all, i'm sorry :'D but who knows, maybe he'll turn out to be the most scary and dangerous prisoner here!

noa is another forgettable one for me, i'm sorry djfhnkdsl. i have a habit to refer to noa and suzume as a set, like, you know, sad girls who have some kind of love-related problems. it doesn't mean i don't like noa though! i just really don't know much about her and i don't know what to say about her. i would love to learn more about her relationship with her husband though and like.. how and why her whole crime even happened. and it's nice to see that your prisoners have a good older sister figure here if we don't count her using alcohol as a coping mechanism <3 her dynamic with rin is cute too!

OHHHH kiyoshi is a difficult one. like i voted him innocent (i think so? i don't remember that well actually), but.. i can't help but feel like something is wrong. like i really can't believe that it was just "self-defense". come on, his song title is literally "true colors", THERE MUST BE SOMETHING. but if he's just obsessed with justice or something and he saw what he did as self-defense, i won't be surprised. and the fact that he's more cheerful now also makes me feel like kiyoshi has a darker side that he hasn't shown yet. like don't think i will go easy on you this time, old man, i'll be watching you very closely <3 (also i remember you saying that riku and kiyoshi would get along well? i wonder what you meant by that.. maybe it was about the "everyone relies on them, but they can't rely on anyone" bit?)

and another one with scary vibes jsjksklsls maybe i'm just not a fan of characters who kill for justice, their morals or what they think is "right"? like something about that sounds messed up to me. and yes, i voted mayumi guilty AND I DON'T REGRET IT OKAY. sure, maybe your patient was a criminal, but again, you're a nurse and you should do your job. don't think that you have the right to decide his fate or anything like that. i'm sure mayumi really had good intentions and she really is a kind person, but yeah, right now i can't say she's innocent or that i'm planning to forgive her in season 2.